If Ever
by LaFilmeMichelle
Summary: A MerMark.  Sometime after S3...perhaps S4, but in AU.  Family you can't choose, but friends choose you.  When they do, they become your family.  Seattle Grace is just the place to put such a theory to the test.  Dirty Mistresses need love too.
1. Prologue If

**A/N**: _Okay, you guys asked for it! Not sure how long it's going to be (probably six chapters), so things may move a little quickly…we'll see. Here's a MerMark for ya! (It's NOT a sequel to Disconnected. It's a stand-alone.)_

* * *

**Prologue**

He wasn't sure how long he'd been standing there. It felt like a long time. He wasn't quite sure what to do. He took in the people all around; a few he worked with before, but mostly those he called family. He hoped he could still refer to them as that.

He wanted more than anything at that moment to walk up to him, to be able to say that he was 'sorry for your loss' and all the other BS that would accompany it. Coming from him, he knew that maybe it would mean a little something; he did fly across the country for the funeral.

The woman he thought of as a surrogate mother was dead. He decided not to think of it that much; at least at the moment. Detachment was the best remedy. Yes; it was temporary, but temporary was good. He could temporarily pretend that he didn't know the person who was being lowered into the ground. He could temporarily pretend that the faces he looked at weren't sobbing or worse; unyielding like his.

He watched as the man formerly known as his best friend had to be a pillar for his sisters. Addison was close by. They all remained friends despite situations they found themselves in. He watched as Derek nodded, saying 'thank you' and accepting the other consolations given. Mark glanced as he noticed that he wasn't the only one standing off from the main group. He saw a glimmer of blonde wipe away a stray tear, catch his glance, and look away. She shortly walked off and entered a vehicle that didn't seem to be a part of the procession. One last clear look confirmed it; Meredith Grey was in New York. She didn't even attempt to talk to Derek. He wondered why.

A few minutes later the only people left were Derek, Nancy, Kathy, Lauren, and Sarah. He played with a few leaves and the hands in his pockets, finally getting the courage to walk over. When he did, the girls looked at him for a moment. The next they looked at Derek. He nodded, a silent permission granted. The women surrounded and hugged Mark.

With Derek now standing alone, Mark had the time to really look at him. He couldn't remember him being so small. It was only when he was sure that the girls had Mark that he let a few tears escape and the lump in his throat to surface. He mouthed a 'thank you,' a different one than the one reserved for the guests. He walked away, hands in his pockets, an attempt to keep his mind stable for the walk to the limo. Giving his old friend a few minutes, he let the woman sober up, walking them to the limo.

He paused, giving one final nod to the group. He was about to shut the door when a voice stopped him.

"Aren't you coming?"

He looked at Sarah. "I don't think---"

"She was as much your mother as she was ours. She would want you there."

Realizing that Derek made move to protest he nodded. "I'll come, but I need to take my car. I'll meet you there."

He watched as they drove away. He walked back up the small hill and threw one last rose on Carol Sheppard's grave. "I love you. And I'll make things right with Derek, like they were before. I promise."

* * *

**If**

_**Two weeks later**_**…**

"I still can't believe you didn't say anything. You flew all the way there, and you didn't say anything."

Meredith shook her head at Christina, growing frustrated at her inability to understand. "I didn't even know that she, that she died until I got there," her voice breaking. "I was there to visit some college friends. Kathy called me." Her tone turning bitter, "he couldn't even call me to tell me himself."

Christina ordered another round of tequila and Fat Tires. "Mer, you still have to be considerate; he just lost his mom. Give him a break."

"A break?! I think I've given him more than that." She sighed. "I'm sorry. It's just, she meant a lot to me. I really liked her. He could've at least left a message."

"Maybe he thought you'd try and comfort him. We all know your guys' definition of comfort."

Meredith scoffed. "Aren't you supposed to be supportive?"

"Only when you're right, which, in this case, you're not."

Meredith looked hurt, than realization quickly washed over her face. "I guess you're right."

Christina downed her shot and nodded, "Always am."

* * *

The next day, or according to Mark, thirteen days since Derek started treating him like they were the friends before…everything. Sure, he and Derek and been friends again for quite some time. But they would never get back to where they were before, or so he thought. Things were looking up considering. 

His thoughts were interrupted as someone knocked on his door. He didn't have time to answer before it swung open.

"You know, sometimes I hate being Chief; really, I do," Derek ranted, taking a seat on Mark's couch. "It cost me Meredith, I have no time to really date, people seem to forget how to be surgeons, and sometimes I don't even get respect. Tell me, what am I doing wrong?"

Mark chuckled at Derek's ranting. It _was _like old times. "Maybe you're looking at it the wrong way."

Derek gave him an inquiring look.

"The position didn't cost you Meredith; you both decided to move on. As for dating, you've been dating. Granted, they've only been girls from the bar, so I suppose you really don't have too much time. As for the respect thing, you have to give it to receive it."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

Mark knew what a possible outcome could be, but pressed on anyway. The staff would thank him for it. He promised he'd try.

"You yell at everyone at the drop of the hat. They're surgeons Derek; not all geniuses like ourselves. This is a teaching hospital; you expect interns to know how to do craniotomy on their first day. Ever since…" he treaded softly while continuing "mom died you've been on a short fuse."

Derek said nothing. He got up and slowly opened the door while turning back. "I can't believe you would say that."

He closed the door, leaving Mark once again to his thoughts.

"Yeah, that went well."

* * *

"Ok Mr. Sterling. You're all set. The nurse will be in here shortly to prep you." 

The patient nodded, visibly nervous but keeping up a good façade. "Are you sure you can't prep me?"

Meredith looked at the forty year old, African-American male who was hitting on her. He wasn't bad looking; she just wasn't _looking_ at the moment, not to mention at a patient. "Umm, I'm sure Mr. Sterling," she chuckled, walking out. "Nurse Cara will be in shortly."

She walked into the hallway, still laughing to herself. She walked into the locker room, grateful for the hour she had before she had to reconvene with her interns. She lied on bench. Her back was killing her. _'It's seriously time for some new shoes.'_

"I saw you in New York."

She opened her eyes but didn't attempt to get up. "That's great; I saw you too."

"Why didn't you let anyone know you were there?"

She sighed, sitting up. She and Mark were acquaintances; convenient friends at the most. They would talk from time to time, but didn't divulge in any deep dark secrets; well, unless it involved Addison or Derek of course.

"The girls knew. I told them not to say anything. They all had enough to deal with." She thought of how broken Derek looked. "He had enough to deal with."

"Are you sure he didn't need you?"

She chuckled, "I'm sure." She took a moment before continuing. "Derek and I…are complicated."

"When have you guys ever been simple?"

"When I didn't know he was married."

Knowing it was not a time to comment, he let her continue.

"We don't talk like that anymore. We are friends, nothing more. If he needs me, he knows I'm here. I always will be there for him; I'm just not in love with him. It doesn't work out that way for us." Steering the conversation away from their non-existent relationship, she redirected. "I know how it is to lose a…two, basically three parents. I needed time. That's what he may need. If there's anything I can take away from our relationship, I would like to think that I got to know him and how he processes things. If he needs me, I'm here."

Mark nodded and sat on the other end of the bench. "I'm sorry."

She slightly leaned forward. "Don't worry; you're just looking out for your friend."

He shook his head. "No, I mean, I'm sorry that your parents died. I never did say it to you."

Tears rejected, she swallowed the lump that always seemed to accompany the painful memories. "It's okay. I'm over it."

He chuckled at her resolve. "Sure you are."

She sent him a glare as she lied back down. She quickly shot up, giving herself a head-rush. "Ow."

"Yeah, maybe not the best idea."

"Shut up, I was going to be all supportive."

He laughed in amusement. "Supportive of what?"

"Carol was your mom too."

His wall was back. He gently lowered it. He didn't know why. "Uhh...oh."

"If you, you know, want to talk, let me know."

He nodded. "Thanks, I guess."

She lied back down. "I'm genuine, really. We could all use a couple more people to have our backs in this crazy life. Family has to care, not that I would know. But friends, they choose to. It means more."

He looked at her as she closed her eyes. "Okay," he responded, unsure.

She got comfortable. "And stop staring. It's creepy."

* * *

**A/N:** _Short, yes. Just a little preview. Hope you like!_


	2. Time Flies

**Time Flies**

"So, Burke wants to get married."

Meredith chuckled. "Yes; I thought we went through this when he proposed to you a year ago."

Christina took a bite of her apple. "Yeah, but he like, wants to get married _now_."

"Like, how soon _now_?"

"In three months."

Meredith nodded, returning her attention back to her magazine. "That's not bad. You guys are practically married anyway; you're just making it official."

Christina grabbed Meredith's magazine. "You do not understand the repercussions! I have three months to plan a wedding. I'm Christina. I don't do weddings; let alone plan them!"

Christina began to pace.

"Christina?"

"What?!"

"It's three months away. You have plenty of time." She walked over and made her cease pacing. "I'll tell you what; Izzie and I will plan the whole thing. You just show up. Deal?"

Christina looked at Meredith quizzically. "But, you're Meredith. You don't do all…white and flowy."

Meredith nodded, leading her back to the couch. "You're right, but I'm under obligation. You're my person."

Christina leaned back and took another bite. She smirked slightly. "No ruffles, mosquito nets, or pink."

Meredith reached for her magazine. "Got it."

* * *

"Why on earth are we running?"

"Because," Mark said, breathing evenly. "We are friends; friends run together."

Meredith stopped as Mark joined her, running in place. She was panting.

"Okay, let's get something straight. We're not really friends; yet."

He put a hand to his heart. "That hurts Grey."

She waved him off, sitting down. "You know what I mean. You're my friend, but not my friend friend. We have a ways to go. I should only be doing this with friend friends."

He put his hand out. "And you should not be sitting without stretching."

She lied down. "I'm fine. I can't go on. You go without me."

Now cooled a bit down from running in place and walking back and forth, he put his hand out again. "Seriously, _friend_, get up. The longer you wait, the more it's going to hurt."

"I'm a doctor too," she said, jumping up, "and I think I know—ow!"

Mark caught her as she pulled a muscle, going back down. "See, I told you."

"Great, we're like a mile away from the car." She sighed, "See, this is why I don't run."

He chuckled, "No, you're just lazy." He got down to carry her. "Let's go."

"What are you doing? Put me down Sloan."

"Oh, it's Sloan when I try to help you?"

"I can walk. I'm capable of walking."

"No, you're not. And with your pulled muscle it'll take us forever to get back."

"So you're throwing me over your shoulder in some show of your manliness?"

He thought for a moment. "No, but now that you mention it…"

* * *

"Why is your butt in the air?"

"Because _someone_ won't let me down."

Christina, amused by the situation, continued further, "and why are you in…running clothes?"

"What do you think Sherlock?"

"Is she always like this in the mornings?"

Christina nodded. "Yes; she's worse than I am throughout the day in the mornings." She stood, arms crossed and enjoying the interaction. "Do you need me to take your interns for awhile?"

"No, I think I…"

"Great! I'll let you know where they are later." She mumbled as she walked away, "Goodbye McBurned."

"Why is she so eager to take your interns?"

"Power."

Meredith stared at the retreating form of her friend as she entered the hospital. She then turned her attention to Mark; or at least to his back anyway.

"Okay, you're putting me down. There is no way I'm letting you carry me into my place of work."

"Don't you mean our place of work?"

"Whatever, just put me down."

"Okay." Mark gently put her down and allowed her to lean on him. They traveled in comfortable silence.

"I'd take the stairs if I could; people are gonna talk."

He smirked, "They're gonna talk regardless Grey. They have nothing else better to do."

She sighed, "Still."

The elevator opened up a few seconds later. It was empty, which left her plenty of room to maneuver.

"See Grey? Nothing to worry about."

She smiled as she leaned against the back for support.

Milliseconds later a hand stopped the elevator from closing and turned her smile into a sarcastic smirk. "Seriously?"

Derek stepped in, momentarily unaware of the elevator's occupants. Upon a second glance, he observed them.

"Good morning."

"Dr. Sheppard," Meredith politely shoveled out.

"Derek."

Silence prolonged the distances between floors. Floor two initiated more conversation.

"What happened to your leg?"

"How do you know something happened to my leg?"

"You're babying it."

"I am not."

Mark smirked, amused at the display.

"Yes, you are. Did you pull a muscle?"

"Unbelievable."

"You went running?"

"Yes. It was a mistake," she said, rolling her eyes and looking at Mark.

"You never went running with me."

"You never asked."

"I didn't think you'd say yes."

"Derek?"

"I thought it was Dr. Sheppard?"

"Well, you're being a Derek now."

"What?"

The bell rung as the door opened. "See you later."

She hobbled out of the elevator begrudgingly with the help of Mark. Derek looked on, a feeling between jealousy and envy etched on his features. "Mark."

* * *

"They are so gonna get together," Izzie smiled, leaning against the window of Meredith's room. "I give it by your wedding."

Alex stole one of her Skittles. "I don't know; he might get lucky before then."

Christina looked on, uninterested. "My wedding is in three months. Meredith can't go three months without sex, but she's sworn off men for a while. I doubt that'll last long."

The three walked across the hall and leaned against the nurses' station. "Where's Bambi?"

"He's somewhere talking to Callie," Izzie offered.

"Okay, that is just weird. They've been divorced for a year and still talk."

Christina scoffed, "It's not really weird; not here anyway. Let's see, you have the Sheppard, Montgomery, Sloan…shall I go on?"

* * *

"Just stay off of it today and you should be fine. Nothing serious at all."

"It hurts."

"It's supposed to."

"It's supposed to hurt?"

"It's your body's way of telling you something's wrong."

"Well my body needs to shut up."

"Yours and mine both," he muttered.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

* * *

Two weeks had passed since the 'jogging incident.' The gang was doing fine, enjoying the near end of their first year as residents. Tonight was a little party to celebrate. The previous interns had started a ritual. They didn't really need a reason to party, but an occasion made it a little more…valid.

Alex and Addison were in their third month of a relationship. It seemed to be going well. They even managed to keep their relationship at work professional. Okay, so they slipped a few times.

George and Izzie were both single. They were also both content. George wanted to be by himself to get things together. Izzie was determined to find a love interest whose prefix wasn't 'Dr.'

Derek seemed to be slowly returning to his old self. He even smiled how he used to. Time did wonders. He was still very available. He just wasn't looking.

Christina and Burke were good. Really good. 'If I ask and you say yes I won't leave you at the altar' good.

Mark hadn't dated since he started to befriend Meredith. He hadn't figured out why. At least not yet.

Meredith was doing well on focusing on herself. She made sure that the friends she considered family knew it. She wasn't bright and shiny, but she definitely wasn't dark and twisty. There could be no more surprises left in the world to ambush her. Her mothers died, her father might as well be, and she survived death, more than once. The way she saw it, things could only get better.

And they were.

Mark was everything she didn't hope for. She long ceased to have expectations for humans; they often failed. He surprised her. He was the perfect boy friend without the ties of a boyfriend. She even enjoyed her relationship with him more than getting drunk and sleeping with inappropriate men. He kept her on her toes. They were friends.

* * *

The party was in full-swing. Everyone was there, including the guests who were invited, and some who weren't. Meredith was sure she didn't recognize at least a quarter of the people. Even Bailey and Torres showed.

Well on her third shot, Meredith spotted Derek looking rather uncomfortable. Mark was still at the hospital and said he would stop by later. She and Derek were friends, right?

"Well, hello there."

Derek's uneasy demeanor shifted as familiarity relaxed his shoulders and amusement framed his features. "Hey yourself."

"What do you think of the party?"

"I'm not so sure if I should be here, engaging in such…" he looked around the room, spotting a nurse and surgeon going at it, "Activities."

"So you're not feeling uncomfortable because of me?"

He shook his head. "Maybe a little, but I'm more worried if I should be here because I'm Chief."

She grinned, downing another. "I think it shows that you are…versatile."

"Versatile?"

"Yes," she said, biting into a lime. "It shows that you know how to be both a professional and a human being."

"Are you sure you're not drunk?" He looked at his watch. "You've been talking to me for five minutes straight. It's been a year; you only talk to me when necessary."

"I'm not drunk. Like water, remember?"

He nodded. "How can I forget? Plus, you're not slurring…yet."

She feigned hurt. "Oh ye of little faith." She smiled. He returned one. "And I don't."

"Don't what?"

"Talk to you only when necessary."

"Mer…"

"Okay, I do." A sudden perkiness overtook her. "How about starting right now, we try to be real friends again?"

He perked up a little too, missing what they had. He knew they would never get back together; he accepted that. He still missed having her in his life. "Deal."

"Great." She eyed her friends motioning for her to join them. "I'm going to go attempt to get drunk, and you're going to do the same. Feel free to crash here if need be." She began to walk away when she turned back around. "On the couch of course."

* * *

An hour later Alex, Addison, Christina, Preston, Miranda, and Callie had left, all in pre-ordered cabs. George and Izzie were still drinking, playing a game with a group of other surgeons. They would hurt in the morning. Half of the people were there still. Derek was talking to one of Meredith's friends from college that was visiting from New York. Things seemed to be going well. Meredith was amused.

Her thoughts were interrupted by an unfamiliar voice.

"Hey there sexy."

She turned around slowly, half-annoyed, half-interested. "How can I," hiccup, "help you?"

He leaned in, way too close for comfort. "I'm Dan. I work out."

Meredith couldn't help but stifle a laugh. It came out as a giggle, an accidental invitation for him to continue.

"Do you want to go to dinner sometime?"

She controlled her laughter, trying to let him down easy. "I'm sorry. I'm taken."

He nodded as he stood up. "No worries. It was worth a shot, right?"

She nodded.

* * *

Another hour later Mark arrived. He made his way through the trash, laughing at the sight before him. Izzie was passed out, as was George. She was lying in his lap. He was just in time to see Derek kiss Meredith's friend, Grace. It was a pretty good kiss too, Mark had to admit. Derek did his infamous smile and walked away, promising to call her. He walked past Mark. It was a walk they did a lot back in New York, when they did nothing but party. He matched the grin with one of his own.

He heard Derek drive away, right before it occurred to him to ask where Meredith was. He slowly made his way upstairs and warily searched each room. She wasn't there.

He went back downstairs to find the last stragglers leaving. He stopped a small group of them.

"Do you know where Meredith is?"

"Who?"

"Meredith, the person's house you're in?"

The guy's friend answered. "The last time I saw her, she was outside. Something about cleaning up now so she wouldn't have to later. She was pretty wasted though."

He chuckled, thanking them and sending them on their way. He looked through the rest of downstairs before he decided to look outside.

"Mer?"

He scoffed as he saw that the lawn was still littered. There was a good two or three feet where there wasn't any trash. A foot after, a pile of trash was pilled neatly against the porch. He then turned his attention to the side of the house.

"Meredith?"

He had to squint as his eyes became adjusted to the new complete darkness.

He saw her legs first.

"Meredith."

* * *

**A/N**_: I know, I know! I was TOTALLY not going that way. It just happened. No worries though…it'll all work out. ___

**IslandGurl90**: Thank you so much! I laughed when I saw your penname…we call my niece that!

**Libranfate**, **Yasmine2388**: Thanks a bunch! No worries. It won't get cheesy or anything like that. Promise!

**MarianaTeresia**: You got it!

**Frenchnavygirl**: I post everyday, except weekends. Hope I keep you reading!

**Katherine** **Austen**: Again, my first reviewer! Can I say how much I love you?! Stay tuned. As you know, it gets good!


	3. A Glimpse

**A Glimpse**

"Meredith!" His voice became rushed, eagerly awaiting any kind of response. Wasting no time, he checked for a pulse. He was relieved when he found one. With not enough light to assess the situation, he carefully checked for broken bones and lifted her up. He brought her upstairs and placed her on the bed, turning on the light.

For a moment, he wished he hadn't. She was covered in small amounts of blood, cuts and scraps littering her body much like the trash littered the lawn. Her skirt was soiled. To his relief, it was only dirt.

"Mer?"

Still no answer.

"Meredith?"

He sighed, grateful that she was okay. He went to the bathroom and brought supplies out to clean her up a bit, opting not to put any bandages on as she would most likely want to shower in the morning. He was grateful they had the day. She was going to need it.

Mark gently covered her with a sheet and watched her sleep for awhile. When he was sure that she was still breathing and that she would be okay, he got up and turned off the light, ready to exit. He gave another look and was suddenly reminded of his college days, one in particular. His freshman year saw an unfortunate event, one where a girl down the hall from him had alcohol poisoning and no one knew it. She didn't wake up the next day.

He wasn't sure if that was his excuse or if he just wanted to lie next to her, but he was going to stick with the excuse. Addison was the only person he could be content with by just lying with; it scared him. Giving way to desire and a shell of protectiveness, he grabbed the throw blanket from her chair and lied down next to her. After a few minutes of staring, it wasn't hard to fall asleep.

* * *

Meredith woke up the next morning, greeted early by a Mr. Hammer and Mrs. Nausea. She held her hand to her head, willing the headache that only seemed to grow with her level of alertness. It was a good two minutes before she saw the pills and glass of water by her bed; it was another three before she noticed a warm body next to her.

She jumped out of bed and instantly regretted the sudden rush that encouraged the throbbing in her temples. "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh."

Mark stirred as he turned to face her. "Well, I don't usually get that response the morning after, but I think I like it."

Meredith, still in shock, began to shake her head slowly from side to side. "No, no, no. We…this didn't happen. We couldn't. I mean, I know I was drunk, but you're his…and we're…no…right?"

Mark chuckled at her rambling. It never got old. "Grey?"

"Yeah?" she responded, still wary and confused.

He motioned to the bed, "Look at the sheets. You were under, I'm on top." He began to take of his blanket when she looked away. "Relax Grey; I'm still fully clothed, see?"

She nodded. She slowly looked at herself. "And so am I."

He chuckled, slowly rising, "Yes, and so are you. I promise," he held his hands up, "Nothing happened; well, besides you passing out at your own party."

She nodded, convinced but still trying to process what happened. She looked at her arms and legs, suddenly aware of the cuts and bruises. "Where _exactly_ did I pass out?"

"In your rose bushes. It's a miracle you didn't take an eye out."

She took a seat at her vanity, still looking at the bed. Okay, so maybe she was looking at its occupant.

Mark got up and swung his legs over the bed, sitting down. "So, you kind of scared me last night."

"Before, or after I passed out?" she nervously chuckled.

"After; I didn't get here until everyone else was passed out or gone. You know, you could've been, you know…"

Meredith tried to search his face and gestures for the answer. After a few seconds, she got it. "Oh. Yeah; didn't think about that. Well, at least we're all okay, right?"

He ran hand through his hair, his sign of relief or frustration. Normally, he wouldn't mess up his hair. He didn't mind it at the moment; he'd already slept on it.

"Right." He smirked and got up, kissing her on the forehead. "I'm going to wash up and go make some breakfast; you need a shower."

"Gee, thanks."

"No problem."

* * *

"He's in our kitchen."

"He's in our kitchen, cooking," George added, agreeing with Izzie.

"I can hear you."

The two took some aspirin and sat at the nook, observing as if they were in the gallery watching a surgery. Amused by his audience, Mark showed off a bit, cracking the eggs effortlessly and flipping the pancakes perfectly.

Twenty minutes later, everything was done and the four were eating Mark's creation.

"I don't think I've ever seen such a round pancake," Izzie marveled, highly impressed.

Meredith giggled, "Is there anything else we should know about you?"

Mark smirked, "I think you'll just have to wait and see."

Izzie and George shared a look, observing the interaction between the two surgeons, friends, whatever.

"Umm, Grace said she'd be back after breakfast," George offered.

She took a bite of her food. "Cool. I wonder who it was with."

Another look between best friends was shared, this one of apprehension. "It, was, uh…Derek."

Meredith looked at Izzie who looked at Mark and George who all looked at Meredith as she dropped her fork.

"Uh, Mer?" Mark said, grabbing her shoulder.

A grin spread across her face. "I'm so good. It hasn't even been eight hours and they're going to breakfast!" She happily took another bite of food, receiving confused stares in the process.

"You mean you intentionally introduced them to each other?" Mark asked.

She nodded.

"Are you crazy?" Izzie inquired.

She shook her head no. They still weren't quite sure she was okay. She put down her fork.

"Look guys, Derek and I decided to be friends. Friends help each other out. Who better to hook my ex and my good friend up than me, who know each of them personally?"

George nodded, not sure if she was in denial or purely genuine; either case scared him. "Okay, if that's what you want."

* * *

Six hours, three pizzas, a gallon of ice-cream and five six-packs later, Izzie, George, Mark, Meredith, Grace, and Derek were watching the credits roll by for _Dr. Strangelove_.

"Okay, that was one of the best movies I've ever seen."

"I agree with George," Mark said, "definitely one to own."

Izzie shook her head, "I don't know. It was funny and entertaining, but I don't know about it being one of the best."

Derek finished his last bite of pizza, "I thought it was good."

Grace and Meredith smiled at each other. Meredith spoke first, "You have to take it into context, especially considering when it was made and the social commentary."

Grace nodded, adding, "Everyone should see it. It may not be the best, but it's definitely part of history."

Derek laughed, "Okay, those were really weak reasons as to why it's one of your favorite films."

Receiving death glares from the two women, he put his hands up.

"Okay," Grace conceded, "we just like it."

Meredith added, "it's funny. Sometimes you just need a good laugh. Plus it was the first movie we ever saw together in college. It stuck."

Mark looked at the articles they'd consume. He looked at Meredith, "How's your hangover?"

She smiled, "Non-existent. Beer and greasy food do miracles."

* * *

"Well, I better go," Mark said, attempting to stand up. Everyone had left or gone to bed. He and Meredith were watching TV.

Meredith, reluctant to give up her footrest, got up to join him. "Okay, see you tomorrow?"

He kissed her cheek. "That you will."

She closed the door and paused, quickly wiping away the grin that followed his departure.

"

* * *

A few days had passed and Mark and Meredith began to grow closer. They individually and slowly came to the realization that they could (and maybe did) like each other. Not willing to jeopardize or lose their relationship, both remained silent. They voiced their feelings to no one.

They didn't need to. Their closeness obvious to anyone with eyes raised the hospital pool to closer dates, betting that they would get together before Christina's wedding. Even Christina placed her bet.

The two had just finished lunch when Meredith was paged. Mark stayed behind as he grabbed a dessert before heading back to check on his patients.

"Who paged Debbie?"

The nurse smiled warily at Meredith. She cautiously pointed behind Meredith. Smile still in tact, Meredith turned to see the source of Debbie's silence. It was her half-sister, Lexi Grey.

Meredith's smile faded as she fought to keep it from doing so. She regained her composure and made her way to one of the beautiful offspring of her father, Thatcher, or whatever she called him. _I have to get a new name for him_.

"Lexi."

The woman looked just as tentative as her. "Meredith." She fidgeted for a while. "Um, is there some place we could talk?"

Meredith nodded, "Sure. Let's go to the terrace."

The woman followed Meredith to the terrace and put her purse and coat down, pacing. "There's a couple of things you need to know."

Meredith nodded. She kept telling herself that things were not going to get worse. She was wrong.

"Um, I'm sorry about, my Da-, Dad and Molly. He was just angry."

Meredith cut her off. "It's okay; he's made our relationship clear." _'Or lack thereof.'_

"And, just as a heads up, so you don't think I'm doing it out of spite, I've decided to do my internship here, at Seattle Grace."

Meredith gulped, trying to find the words.

"Um, okay, that's great. Congratulations." She plastered on a smile. "Your father must be proud." It was beginning to get harder to speak. Her eyes watered. She kept them at bay.

"About him; there's one more thing. He's here."

Meredith tensed, her body not quite sure what to do next. "Oh. Well, I wouldn't mention that you spoke with me if I were you." She gave a brief nod, turning to walk away.

"No, he's _here_, in the hospital."

Meredith still didn't turn back. "Why?"

"He's dying."

She came to the swift realization that she just wasn't going to find those words.

* * *

**A/N**: _Remember…it's moving along quickly! It'll be finished by mid-next week, so only about four chapter left (if that). Also, I know this is short, but since I probably won't be posting tomorrow I will post another chapter later today. It will be longer_!

**Imtweetybird, km157, D.D**: Thank you! Hope you enjoy!

**Yasmine2388**, **frenchnavygirl**: Just a drunken fall! Lol. Yeah, Mer being 'raped' just didn't go with my story! (Plus, that stuff is really hard to write for me. People who do that are evil!)

**Surgery**-Girl: Hope you liked this MerMark! I'm sure you know there's more to come!

**KB22**: Lol…you got it! Passed out


	4. Thank You

**Thank You**

"Meredith?"

Meredith snapped out of whatever she was experiencing. This was her place of work. She wasn't going to break down again. She hadn't in a year and she wasn't planning on revisiting the times when she did. She turned slowly around, swallowing the lump that refused to dissolve.

"What's the diagnosis?" Being a doctor was all she had at the moment.

Lexi stammered, surprised at the sudden change of mode. "Uh, it's cancer."

She nodded, looking down at her stethoscope for distraction. "How long does he…have?"

Lexi wiped away a tear, holding herself together. Meredith, for a moment, thought she should hug her. She decided against it. She just wasn't a patient's family; she was hers estranged.

"Two weeks."

The earth that seemed to give away for a moment quickly hardened. Her sadness turned into anger. "Why didn't he—" She stopped herself. She knew the answer. He didn't want anything to do with her. She took a breath.

Noticing this, Lexi gathered her things and walked away, slowly. "I just thought you should know."

She managed to wrangle a strained thank you as she watched Lexi walk away, the magnanimity of the situation sinking in.

She focused and gathered herself, aware that it was in the middle of the day and that she had work to do. She saw Debbie give her a sad smile, one that she could only return with a nod. It was then that she realized work would have to wait.

* * *

Mark had entered the hallway in time to hear the last part of the conversation between the sisters. He knew Meredith needed some space. He would be there when that space decided to suffocate.

That seemed to occurring right about…now.

He watched her as it took everything she had to just walk into the stairwell. He gave it a moment before he followed her. Once inside he heard the footsteps that she'd been so careful to make light finally running down the steps. He didn't need to run and alarm her of his presence just yet. He knew where she was going.

* * *

She reached the basement and burst through the doors that seemed to confine and stepped outside, welcoming the pouring rain. It was a good disguise to hide pain and the tears that came with. She'd have to remember to thank God for that.

She still didn't break. The tears were just an indication of what she was holding inside.

That plan was immediately shot down.

She quickly wiped her face as she heard the door open. She took a deep breath and didn't even acknowledge who joined her. She made her way to the door, head down. She opened it half-way when she was stopped by a hand on her shoulder. She'd know that hand anywhere.

She looked up. That was all it took.

He gently pulled her to his chest and held her as her body shook with the release of pent-up emotion long forgotten. He didn't say anything; he just let her be.

Not that he would know what to say anyway.

He joined as her as she slid to the ground, not caring that he was getting soaked and that the ground was dirty. He just held her. They stayed this way for some time.

Ten minutes later she broke the solitary soundtrack of rain colliding with material.

"I just don't know what I'm supposed to do, what I'm supposed to feel."

He pulled her closer as she lifted her head and stared forward.

"He hates me, and I should hate him, but I don't. He's my dad. I don't want him to die."

"I know. Just give it some time."

She sniffed, "He doesn't have time." It wasn't bitter, it just was.

'_See, I knew I should've stayed quiet.'_ He gulped. "I mean, at least give yourself today. You can talk to him tomorrow, when and if you're ready."

She seemed to be okay with this suggestion, nodding and fixing her presentation. She got up as Mark helped her to her feet. Once she was sure she was okay, giving him a confirmation nod, he opened the door, like she had done shortly before. This time, she stopped him.

"Thank you." She smiled. It was sad, but it was the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen.

He nodded, not trusting the first words to let them out. "No problem, I'm you're _friend_ remember?"

She chuckled, scoffing, "And there goes the Mark we all know and love."

They eventually made it back to the main floors. "Well, I guess I'll see you later."

"Yeah." He quickly thought of the day's events. "That is, if you're still up for it. It's okay if you're not, I'd understand."

She laughed. It was a genuine laugh. He was grateful. It seemed to take a lot of energy out of her though, he was a bit worried. "What?"

"You're rambling," she grinned and put her hands in her pockets. "I usually do that."

He smirked. "I guess you're rubbing off on me."

She opened the door. They saw Grace talking to Derek at the nurses' station. "I seem to have that affect on a lot of people."

"And right there would be some of me rubbing off on you."

They were now in front of Derek and Grace. "Meredith," Grace greeted, "I thought we agreed no rubbing at all?"

Immediately taking in her appearance, both Derek's and Grace's desired questions were assuaged by one look from Mark.

"Hey, Grace. Could you give Meredith a ride home?"

Meredith protested, looking at the clock. "I have two more hours. I can finish my shift."

"I'm still your boss."

She glared but realized he was acting as a friend. It was then that she noticed how tired she was. "Fine."

She said good-bye and led Grace to the locker room.

Derek turned to Mark. "So."

Mark began walking towards the hall. They had a mutual patient to consult. "It's her dad."

"Thatcher?"

He nodded, "the one and only. He has cancer; they give him two weeks, max."

Derek mouthed a silent oh. "Is she, are you…"

Years as practically brothers allowed him to decipher and answer. "She will be," he paused before continuing, "and I am."

* * *

Meredith was eating dinner with Grace, Christina, Izzie, George, and Alex. Mexican food from take out pervaded the room.

"I'm stuffed guys," Izzie blurted.

"I don't think I should have eaten that last tamale," Georged added, running to the bathroom.

"Is he gonna be okay?" Grace asked, pointing to his running form.

Meredith nodded, "Oh yeah, he'll be just fine."

"Bambi does this all the time. He tries to hang with the big boys and lives to regret it."

"Well I guess that would put you out of the running, now wouldn't Evil Spawn?" Christina spat.

Alex shrugged. "Maybe you should tell Burke you're a dude. It would be nice to know before you marry him in two months."

Izzie stood up, "Oh my gosh, it is in two months!" She grabbed Meredith. "Come on, we have to plan!" She looked at Grace, grabbing her too. "And you by extension of the maid-of-honor."

Christina got up. "I'm leaving."

Alex soon joined. "I'm so not here for this."

Minutes later the women were upstairs and George returned. "Hey, where did everybody go?"

* * *

Meredith answered the door and smiled, happy to have the expected company. She laughed as he cautiously checked for roommates.

"Don't worry; Izzie is at the clinic, George went to visit his family, and Grace is with…guess who?"

Mark took his jacket off and hung it up, joining her on the couch. He extended his arm and she tucked under it.

"Derek."

She nodded. "Yup. With the rate they're going, you'd think they were in a marathon."

He chuckled. "Well, she is only here for another two days." He paused as he smiled at a thought. "You're evil."

She looked up, still in his embrace. "What are you talking about?"

"You knew she was only gonna be here for a little while and that he would like her. Torturer!"

She chuckled, amused. "Even if I did do that to him, why would I do it to Grace?"

He thought for another moment. "Okay, you're not evil."

They watched _Supernatural_ where the father comes back at the end. Mark thought it was a pretty good show. He looked down at Meredith. His shirt was getting wet.

"Mer?"

She tried to perk right up. "Yes?"

"Why is my shirt wet?"

"Uh," she stalled, "I drooled."

"Wow," he mused. "You're willing to lie and say you drooled instead of admitting that you're crying, even though I've already seen you." She lifted her head. "You are one strange woman, you know that?" he grinned.

"It's just," she struggled again with words. _This was Mark. She could do this. She could and she would; without the crying._ "He got to come back; my dad can't."

He nodded in understanding as she sat up, Indian-style perpendicular to his position on the couch. "Do you want to talk?" He searched her face. "I mean, I don't know what to say, but I could listen."

She shook her head. "No, but there's something else you could help me with."

She reached over his shoulder. _'This is it,'_ he thought. _'She's going to kiss me.'_ His hopes were shot down when she grabbed the phone.

"You could call and order pizza. I'm starved again."

He looked on, regaining composure.

"What? Plus I need food in the morning." She got up and headed upstairs. "Make yourself comfortable, I'm going to go change. Be down in a minute."

* * *

Two movies later Meredith stared at Mark's sleeping form. The truth was, she was going to kiss him. She chickened it out. She didn't know if she wanted to kiss him because she wanted to, or if she was just in emotional distress because of her father. She quickly reminded herself that she felt a little something before today. Today it just seemed like a tangible possibility.

She pulled a blanket over him and kissed his forehead. She turned off the TV and the lamp. A few seconds later her eyes became adjusted to the darkness. _'One more kiss couldn't hurt.'_

She walked back over, timid yet excited about her momentary endeavor. She held her hair away from his face and lowered hers to his. She kissed him softly and quickly on the lips.

"Goodnight Mark. Thank you, for everything," she whispered.

She quietly made her way upstairs.

Sure that she was safely in her room upon hearing her door shut, Mark opened his eyes.

He smiled. "You're welcome. Thank _you._"

Definitely a possibility.

* * *

**A/N**: _Not as long as I intended, but hope you enjoyed! Please REVIEW!_

**Frenchnavygirl**: You're slowly getting your wish!

**Broadwaygr16502**: Thank you! Hope I answered your AU question!

**Merderdreamy5**: Thank you so much! Love MerMark too in AU…looks like it'll be on the show soon enough.


	5. One Heck of A Party

**One Heck of A Party**

It had been two days since the kiss that neither of them had discussed with anyone. It was quite comical really; both would stare at the other when one was sure the other wasn't looking. The surface of their relationship hadn't changed, though they both desired something deeper. Not willing to jeopardize the friendship just yet, they continued as if nothing had occurred, no matter how much they _wanted_ to play jeopardy.

Meredith's friend Grace was leaving, and in true Grey household fashion, a party was being thrown. Everyone even managed to convince Derek to give them time off in shifts; that way, the hospital would always be covered and everyone could still attend the party. It also helped that Derek was the love interest of the honoree and that several surgeons the general population disliked were on-call for the majority of the evening. It just happened to work out that way.

* * *

"Are you on crack?"

Meredith looked up from the couch to find Christina hovering over her with a paper in hand.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, stealing a glance at the list.

"You invited Lexi?"

Meredith shrugged. "Yeah."

Christina plopped down next to her. "Why?"

"I don't know. She just seems like she needs to have a little fun." She met Christina's stare. "Besides, it's not like I hate her; I don't know her. She starts her internship next week. It'll be a good chance to meet the staff."

Christina, convinced that Meredith wasn't planning some evil embarrassing outing at her father's daughter's expense, sighed. "Fine, as long as she doesn't pull a Meredith on the first night, she should fit right in." She thought for a moment. "Heck, she better pull a Meredith if she's gonna fit in."

* * *

Mark stared at his closet. He was looking for a shirt. Something seemed to be wrong with the eleven shirts he had previously tried on.

It was official. Mark Sloan was falling for Meredith Grey.

He sat on his bed and sighed. _'Since when do I get nervous? It's just Meredith. Whatever will be fine.'_

Temporarily regaining his resolve, he stood up and went to work on his hair. He was just about to apply product when someone knocked on the door. He answered in a wife beater and jeans. He smirked when he saw his guest; he wasn't the only one freaked out.

"Derek." He looked at his friend who had so much stuff it looked like he was spending the night.

"Help me."

* * *

"Grace!" Meredith yelled. She was tired. She'd spent the last thirty minutes waiting for Grace as she was trying on her fifth dress at Macy's.

"Okay, okay. I found it!"

Grace came out for Meredith to see.

"Wow. Okay, I'm a lesbian."

Grace grinned, turning to change back into her clothes. "Just the look I was going for."

* * *

One hour until the party was to begin, George and Izzie were leaving the hospital. George spotted Lexi on her way in. He shuffled his feet and motioned for Izzie to walk a little ahead. She too caught sight of Lexi and smirked, nodding and doing as was requested.

George shuffled his feet and waited for her to near. "Lexi!"

Lexi turned and smiled. "George, right?"

"Yeah." He brightened up at her recognition. "What are you doing? You're not going to the party?" he asked, hopeful that she was.

She nodded in confirmation. "I am. I just had a few more papers to get signed before I start. I also wanted to check in on my dad."

"Good," he managed. "I mean, not that you have to visit your dad. I mean, that you want to visit your dad. I meant it's good that you're coming. To the party. I'll see you later then?"

She smiled, amused and perplexed at his apparent nervousness. "Yeah."

George walked towards the car, smiling. He was now definitely in the mood for another party.

* * *

"Okay, is it me, or are there a lot more people here than the last party?" Meredith asked as she surveyed the scene. "People always gossip but sure do come running whenever I have a party!"

Izzie laughed. "Yeah, definitely more people." She looked at Grace. "I guess you're popular!"

Grace grinned. "I invited basically anyone I saw up until today. Things should get interesting."

Christina joined them with her second beer. "What does that mean?"

"I may have said that there would be free lap dances from Meredith," she blurted out.

"GRACE!"

"Chill," she chuckled. "I was just kidding." Once she was sure Meredith was no longer going to kill her, she revealed the real reason. "I invited some guy who said he used to know you. Finn?"

Grace's three companions spit out their beers.

"Oh gosh," Meredith muttered.

"That'll be awkward," Izzie added.

Christina raised her glass to Grace. "Oh, yeah. Interesting it will be."

* * *

"You're staring."

Mark answered, still looking in the same direction. "Uh?"

"You. Are. Staring." Derek repeated, gesturing his beer towards the women's direction.

"I'm not." Mark turned his attention back to his friend.

"You are so invisibly whipped."

"What the heck does that mean?"

"You like her; a lot."

Mark took the last swig of his beer. "I have no idea who you're talking about."

"Meredith. You like Meredith. I'm pretty sure she likes you."

Mark couldn't believe what he was hearing. His best friend was practically begging him to admit that he had feeling for the ex-love of his life. "No."

"No what?" Preston asked, handing out the beers he'd retrieved.

Derek nodded thanks, gesturing to Mark. "No he doesn't have feelings for Meredith."

Preston scoffed, "Right; and I'm not Black."

* * *

Grace was talking to Derek and Izzie joined Alex and Addison in a game of Taboo with some other surgeons. Christina and Preston were dancing, thanks to Preston's willingness and Christina's high blood alcohol level.

Meredith was sitting on the couch with Mark, leaning into his arm and playing cards with George and Lexi.

Mark would say it later, but he was proud of Meredith for trying the half-sister thing. It was going to be at her own slow pace, but she was making an effort. He smiled to himself as he looked at her, beautiful in the simple dark denim and royal purple tank she was wearing. This is when he thought her the most beautiful, relaxing with no make-up (save some lip-gloss) and laughing with her friends. He loved her laugh. And that lip-gloss.

Meredith was having fun. She was really having fun. She was a little sad that Grace was leaving, but also happy. She knew she'd see her soon. She was also grateful what her arrival did for her relationships. She and Derek had never been better.

Never playing the game, Meredith consulted with Mark before shouting, "Full house!"

The 'losers' having to fetch the next round, got up to retrieve the beers. Meredith turned around and gave Mark a kiss on the cheek.

He thought he was going to have to jump her right there.

Sure, she'd kissed him on the cheek many times before, but this time it was different, more intimate. He smiled back, trying to normalize the situation.

"What was that for?"

She smiled. "Cuz we won. And because I'm glad you're here."

"Well, if that's all I have to do to get a kiss…"

She nudged him in the side. "And that's how you ruin the moment!"

The two laughed when Grace and Derek plopped down beside them, all smiles.

"What's so funny?" Grace asked.

"Mark's just being a Mark," Meredith chuckled.

Derek eyed Mark and grinned.

* * *

"How about we raise the stakes and do tequila shots instead?"

George couldn't hold his laughter in.

"What?" Lexi asked.

"You have no idea how much you two have in common." He grabbed the tequila and some shot glasses, ushering her out of the kitchen. "Let's go."

"I'll be right back, I have to pee."

"TMI Grey," Mark replied.

Meredith offered the group a smile and a wave as she made her way to the bathroom. She stopped when she heard a familiar voice, not even getting two steps from the couch.

"Hello Meredith."

She turned around slowly. The party was loud. _'I could be hearing things, right?'_

She turned around. No, Finn was definitely standing in front of her. He looked…good.

"Finn."

He grinned. _'She looks great.'_ "So, still throwing parties I see?"

She smiled, nodding her head. "Yes. I can't believe you actually are showing up at one."

Mark's interest was peaked. He observed their interaction. Derek noticed.

Finn shrugged, gesturing towards Grace. "Well, you know me. I can't resist a pretty lady."

Derek's focus shifted from Mark to Grace and Finn. _'I'm so not losing two women to him.'_

Derek got up and offered his hand. "Finn."

"Ah, Derek." He shook his hand. "So you must be the man Grace was talking about."

Derek looked at Grace and smiled, pulling her close. "Yes, I must be."

Christina and Preston neared. Christina whispered to Mark, "Awk-ward."

Finn returned his attention back to Meredith. "I'm sorry to hear about everything."

Meredith nodded politely after glaring at Grace. "Thank you." She looked up. "Can I get you something to drink?"

He nodded, "Sure."

Finn followed her to the kitchen just as George and Lexi returned. Before they could offer, Mark spotted the tequila-filled glasses.

"I'll take one of those."

* * *

A half-hour later Meredith still had not returned. The group had begun a game of taboo. Some people were really competitive.

Losing interest before it was gained, Mark got up and nonchalantly searched for Meredith. On his way he found Finn talking with a brunette by the pool table. He smiled, quickly realizing he was wearing his hea….whatever, on his sleeve.

After not finding her anywhere in the house, he looked in the backyard. Bingo.

She was sitting in a corner by herself; he favorite spot in the backyard in fact. She was looking at the tree she used to climb up when she was smaller. She sat on the bench big enough for two with her knees to her chest, chin resting on her arms that draped over them.

He took a seat beside her. She smiled.

"What are you doing Grey? This is a party," he joked.

"Just thinking."

"About?"

"Just stuff; thinking about stuff." _'I'm so not telling you I'm thinking about you. My head hurts. Stop thinking.'_

He chuckled as he leaned back. "And that's all I'm going to get."

She nodded.

"Excuse me."

The pair turned to see Finn.

"Could I speak to Meredith for a second?"

Mark looked at Meredith and she nodded. This guy was really starting to bug him. He realized that it was for no reason. Okay, it was for THE reason.

He mustered a smile and kissed Meredith on the forehead while eyeing Finn. "Sure."

He walked away as Finn took his seat.

"He doesn't like me very much," he chuckled.

Meredith grinned, "He's just very…protective."

Finn shook his head. "No, he likes you." He waited a moment. "And you like him."

Just when she was going to protest she exhaled and smiled. "I do."

* * *

Mark watched for a good fifteen minutes as the two laughed. He walked away and towards the rest of the gang when Meredith was leaning on Finn's shoulder. He felt a twinge of an unfamiliar emotion that he seemed to be feeling a lot that night: jealousy.

"Dude, you okay?" Alex asked. The rest of the group was talking among themselves.

"Uh, yeah," Mark replied distractedly.

"Then why do you look like you're killing whoever you're thinking about with your jaw?"

"What?"

"You're clenching. It's…creepy."

Mark stopped himself. "Oh. It's nothing."

Alex grinned and looked outside. "Okay."

* * *

Twenty minutes later Finn left. Mark was feeling like he wanted to do the same. The night wasn't going as planned. He wasn't sure what he had planned, but it wasn't what was going on. He had avoided Meredith pretty much the rest of the night. He went to look for her to say goodnight.

Mark made his way back outside to find Meredith beginning to clean up.

Whatever he was feeling vanished at a particular memory. "Sober this time?"

Meredith looked up. "Ha, ha, very funny mister."

Mark sat down and watched her.

"So you're just going to sit there and watch?"

He nodded. "Seattle doesn't have a better view."

She blushed, but luckily she was bending down to pick up trash. It could easily be blamed at the blood rushing to her head. "Perv."

She sighed and smiled, continuing to clean up. He was about to help her when he caught her, saving her from going face down in some very suspicious-looking liquid.

"Thanks," she whimpered, dangerously close to the lips she'd been wanting to meet again for two days now. It was getting harder to breathe around him. It was dang near impossible in this vicinity.

"You're welcome," he replied, staring right into her eyes. _'Man, this is such a cliché moment.'_

She let him guide her to the bench as they sat down, not tearing their eyes away.

'_Oh, what the heck,'_ Mark thought. And then he did it.

He kissed her.

If Meredith wasn't sitting down, she would have crumbled to the ground.

He was that good.

If Mark wasn't sitting down, he'd gladly be on his knees, grass stains and all.

She was that good.

It was definitely…good. Great even.

Only coming up due to the biological necessity for oxygen, the pair broke apart, eyes finally reopened. Both tried to look away.

"Oh," Meredith blurted.

"That was, uh," Mark said, still unsure of how she felt.

Meredith snapped partly out of the haze. "Um, I should uh, get back." She stood up, her legs like jell-o. "We can pretend that this…never happened. Okay, yeah. Okay."

She took a few steps. Mark snapped out of his own and grabbed her, spinning her around. "Meredith?" he pleaded, needing her to understand that he wanted her.

"It's okay Mark. I know you didn't mean it." If Mark was going to let her down, she was going to give him a way out, immediately. They could still salvage the friendship. _'Right?'_ She turned again. He didn't let her go. "Mark."

"No."

She laughed nervously. "No what?"

"I…like you a lot. More than a friend. I meant that kiss; I've _wanted_ that kiss."

She seriously did not need to get involved at the moment. She had too much to deal with. Mark was her rock. Now that rock seemed to be getting holes in it. She couldn't handle another rock turning into sand. _'Keep telling yourself that Meredith.'_

"Well, I don't like you like that Mark. You mean a lot to me. But we can't be anything more than friends."

Spending the last couple of months with her let him learn a lot about her. She was trying to push him away. He would do some pushing of his own.

"Then why did you kiss me first?"

She dropped her hand, looking like a deer in headlights. "Wha?"

He got her. He knew it.

"Exactly. I know you kissed me the other night."

"It…it was a goodnight kiss," she stammered.

He grinned. Man how she hated that grin; how she loved it.

"Not the second time."

She just about lost it.

"You were awake!"

He nodded, smirking.

"You're a jerk! You were supposed to be asleep!" she fumed.

He chuckled, "So I'm the jerk because I was awake? You're a perv than."

She scoffed, unable to find words. When she finally did, she knew it sounded as dumb as it did in her head.

"Well, that didn't count."

Amused but not surprised at her inability to admit defeat, he gently pulled her back to the bench. "It did. I'm glad you did it."

Searching for something sarcastic, under-minding, or temporary, Meredith stared at Mark. She couldn't find anything resembling those traits. Her face still refused to light up.

"Mer?"

She didn't answer.

"Mer."

"This isn't going to work," she blurted. "I come with enough baggage to fill my own plane. We haven't known each other that long. Your best friend is my ex; like, the ex of the exes. You're gorgeous," she looked at him, "in a non-feminine way. You like to work-out; my definition of a work out is climbing the stairs to my room. I tend not to cry and then let it out all at once. You don't cry at all. You make me want to cry. Not in the way that you do something to me, but like, you make me feel it's okay to cry in front of you." She continued to play with her hands, avoiding eye-contact. "And, if we have sex, you'll crush me. I'm like, all of 110. You're like 200, hence the crushing. Every girl wants you; I can't compete with that. You're my best friend, you know, besides Christina. I can't lose that. I really can't."

She finally looked up with tears threatening to spill. They didn't though. Mark wiped a stray hair and tucked it behind her ear, grinning. "Done yet?"

She nodded, unsure of what his response would be.

He smiled. "It is going to work. It may be hard, but we're worth it. You're worth it. We all have baggage; I haven't even opened up all of mine yet. You're not so bad looking yourself," he cocked his head to the side. "You're right; I don't cry. But you make me fell like I could if I wanted to, which I won't." Meredith giggled. "And, when we have sex, I won't crush you," he smirked. "And maybe you're right, maybe every girl does want me," which earned him an incredulous look from Meredith, "but you're the only woman that I want. You have nothing to worry about. Besides Derek, you'll always be my best friend. That's not something that's gonna change."

She smirked.

"What?"

She spoke softly. "How did you remember everything I rambled about?"

He smiled. "I remember everything about you Meredith Grey."

"Okay."

"Okay, what?" he asked, intrigued.

"Let's try this."

"Try what?" He already knew the reference. He was just being, Mark.

"This." She cupped his face and kissed him. This one was a little slower, still hungry but partly satiated. It was more of a dessert to the previous main course.

He pulled away, a smile permanently plastered on his face, a grin on hers. At least for the night.

He held up his arm and she placed herself under it. They sat together for a few moments.

"Umm, Mer?"

"Mmhmm?"

"Could we, maybe try that again?"

She broke away to sit up, stealing a glance of the near empty house. "Sure. If you can handle it."

* * *

**A/N**_ Lol. Guess this one was long! Hope it was worth it. Stay tuned for next week. They will definitely use the new development of their relationship in times ahead!_

**Eternalgorithm**, **Frenchnavygirl**: Thanks! MerMark!

**Surgery**-**Girl**, **MarianaTeresia**: Thank you…stay tuned Monday for an update!

**Onlyone**-**chance8720**: Thank you! Really. Hope you were satisfied!

**Km157**: Here ya go!

**KatherineAusten**: Luv you! Here's your ribbon! Hope you like this one…finally! Did it kind of by just blurting it out…not sure if they would dance any longer! Hahaa…glad you still enjoy my humor! Gexie and the Thatcher twist…more to come!

**KB22**: Okay, here's two non-sleeping kisses for ya!

**Best thing since cookies**: Wow, that was a huge compliment…thanks! Here ya go!


	6. Sometimes Silence Is Golden Talking Is

**Sometimes Silence Is Golden; Talking Is Silver**

It wasn't raining. Without even getting out of bed he opened his eyes, stared at the ceiling and grinned. He could tell without looking out the window that it wasn't raining. He kissed Meredith Grey twice last night.

It definitely wasn't going to rain.

Mark got up and showered, unusually in a good mood. He had even awakened before his alarm clock and was already on his way to the hospital. First, he had to make a stop.

* * *

It was raining. She peered through the window, confused. The sun was shining, but it was raining. She shrugged her shoulders. The two rarely made an appearance together in Seattle, but stranger things had happened. After all, she kissed Mark Sloan last night.

Twice.

She smiled and got ready for her shift. Her smile widened when she stepped outside. She chuckled at what she found outside, quickly cracking the door open and throwing her umbrella inside. She shook her head once more as she glanced at her bedroom window.

The sprinkler was broken and was aiming at her second floor window.

It wasn't raining.

* * *

Derek watched his companion in amusement. He momentarily forgot about his own sorrow, intrigued by his friend's unusual outward display of…giddiness.

"Mark?"

"Mmhmm?" Mark replied, his hand full of coffee and…

"Why are you holding a bag of pastries and two coffees?"

Before he got a chance to answer, Derek continued.

"And why are you…smiling?"

Mark continued to smile. "There's a woman."

Derek, slightly jealous, already knew who she was. He pushed the obvious twinge of jealousy aside as a new one made its way to the surface. It was evident on his face.

"Derek?"

"Yeah?"

"Grace?"

Derek nodded, "Yeah."

The doors opened as the two stepped off, ready to part ways. Mark turned, offering a genuine few words. "I'm here, you know, if you want to talk, hang-out, fish."

Derek smiled. Grace was gone, but at least he was warming back up to Mark. He thought he even trusted him again. "I may take you up on that."

* * *

"Dr. Grey? Dr. Grey?"

Meredith snapped back to reality, unconsciously quickly licking her lips. "Uh, yes Debbie?"

The nurse smiled, seeing the source of Meredith's zoning out a few feet away. Being a nurse, you got to know these things. "The patient in Exam Two was just sent to Neuro by your intern Kayla. Could you sign for it?"

She nodded and smiled. "Sure."

Meredith took the paper and signed for it, making her way to the lounge. Head down, she would've bumped into the toned body of a certain man she'd kissed the night before if he hadn't been watching her.

"Whoa Mer, look where you're going much?"

She smiled shyly. Okay, maybe it was a knowing smile with a little playfulness. She hadn't quite decided what smile it was. "I was in my element."

He chuckled, handing her a cup of coffee. "No, I believe that was last night."

This time, she did smile shyly. A hint of red even graced her face for a moment.

Mark smirked, enjoying getting a rise out of her. He then offered her donut.

"Coffee _and_ a donut!" Meredith eyed him thankfully, as well as suspiciously. "This still doesn't mean I'm sleeping with you Sloan."

"You've already done that."

"Well," she continued, eager to win, "this doesn't mean I'm having the sex with you."

He laughed, "'the sex'?"

She giggled, shaking her head up and down. "Yes, 'the sex.'"

He threw away his cup, already finishing his coffee on the way to work. "Alright; at least for now."

She rolled her eyes.

"What? I get points for trying."

She grinned, "and I get points for defense."

"You know Mer, you don't score on defense."

She nodded, smirking. "That's the point."

He gave in, knowing she full-well won that round. He shrugged playfully. "Fair enough."

They locked eyes for a few seconds. His pager went off.

"Well, the great one is needed."

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, of course."

He put his pager away and kissed her softly. Too bad she wanted more. So, she took it.

"Dr. Grey." He smirked.

"Dr. Sloan." She grinned.

She was counting down the minutes until word got around the hospital. Her bet was within the hour. Make that, half-hour.

* * *

"Dude, did you freak'n jump his bones in the lounge?"

Meredith couldn't help but laugh. The hospital was like a major game of telephone. The gossip was so juicy, mainly because people's imaginations altered it.

"No; we weren't even _in _the lounge, we were near it. As for jumping his bones…I merely kissed him."

Alex nodded, fully aware of the gossip vine. "Tongue or no tongue?"

She grinned, "Meredith, remember me?"

Alex smirked, off to his next patient. "That's my girl!"

Meredith turned too, off to check in on her interns. "Hey, Alex?"

He turned, "Yeah?"

"Don't tell Christina yet, okay? I want her to think she was the first to know."

He nodded. "Whatever. She's gonna find out."

She walked out, murmuring to herself. She sighed, "I know."

* * *

Meredith was having lunch with Mark, Izzy, and George a couple of hours later. She successfully had avoided Christina for three hours. She claimed she needed food before she dealt with her. She would need all the strength she could get. Unfortunately, her hours were up.

"Meredith Marie-Ann Grey!"

All heads shot up to see a very angry Christina. Meredith chose to keep her head down.

This made Christina angrier.

"Meredith!"

Meredith looked up, having no choice but to get it over with. "Yes Christina?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Deciding it best not to play coy, she answered, "I was going to. You were in surgery all day."

"It was sex Meredith, _sex_. You could have got me out of surgery for that!" She sat down, taking a bite of George's apple. "Plus, if you had sex, then something would have had to happen earlier. And you didn't tell me then!"

Unable to hold her laughter in any longer (Mark's grin wasn't helping the situation), Meredith giggled.

Christina looked on, "What the heck is going on; what's so dang funny?"

Meredith composed herself. "We didn't have sex Christina."

Unwilling to let her off the hook, Christina warily replied, "Oh. Well, what did happen?"

"We kissed."

Izzie dropped her sandwich, regained her composure, and then clapped.

George, who had been surprised by the whole situation, just stared between the couple. Izzie told him to close his mouth.

Mark grinned, pulling Meredith chin toward his. "It kind of went like this."

He then proceeded to kiss her. Yes, this time softly; without a intervention from other parts of the mouth.

Christina put the apple down. "That's it?"

Meredith nodded, though she didn't tear her gaze away from Mark for a few seconds.

"Well then, okay." Christina stood up. "We'll talk about…whatever later," she said, pointing between the two. "Don't forget, dress fitting at eight tonight."

Meredith nodded. "Okay."

They continued to eat in silence for a few moments.

"Marie-Ann?"

Meredith chuckled, "It's not real; we both don't have middle names, so we gave each other ones we didn't like. You know, for cases such as…this."

He nodded in amusement.

"And what's Christina's?" George asked.

"Georgia Mae."

* * *

"Wow, Christina, you look…" Meredith started.

"Like a girl," Izzie finished.

Christina grinned, looking in the mirror. "Yeah, I do."

"So, I think that's the one."

Christina continued to look in the mirror as Meredith joined her. She turned to find Izzie and Addison. She looked at all three in their dresses. "And I think you guys have found yours."

Izzie stared at Christina's bust.

"What?" Christina snapped, intrigued.

"You have…boobs."

Christina smirked. "Yeah, so what?"

"Nothing," Izzie replied. "It's just, you're a…girl."

Christina began to take off her dress. "Okay, enough 'girlie' crap. Let's go shoot some pool."

* * *

A couple of days later, Meredith was still happy. She knew why she was happy, which made her happier. She was pretty sure Mark felt the same way, or at least she hoped. She was right.

Mark felt the same way.

Since their first conscious kiss they had only slept over each other's houses' twice. Their shifts didn't permit otherwise. With a little tweaking on Derek's part, that would soon slightly change.

Meredith was currently talking with Derek in the park. This was them being friends.

"I think I want another dog."

Meredith laughed.

"What?"

"That was unexpected." She took a bite of her cookie. "I think you just miss Grace. I know I do."

He smiled at her as she stared straight ahead at some children playing on the swings. She really was beautiful. She could be beautiful without being his girlfriend. It was Meredith, and she was beautiful. She was his beautiful friend. This beautiful friend also had another: Grace. "Yes, I do miss Grace."

She took his hand. "Well, if there's any consolation, she misses you too."

He lit up like she just told him that she bought him his own ferry. "Really?" He caught himself, clearing his throat, "really. What did she say?"

On to his act, she smiled as she explained, "She said she missed you. She really likes you. It's been a week and she's still talking about you. For Grace, that's a big thing."

Interest peaked, he probed, "What does that mean?"

She shrugged. "She's sort of a…ex-Mark. Not in a real whore way…just like, a commit-phobe who gets bored easily. You've lasted more than three days. I'm pretty sure you're in."

He nodded. "Mer?"

"Yes?"

"Was that…is this…weird?"

They both laughed at the situation and its expected awkwardness. She nodded, "Yes; but we're trying. I'd rather try than pretend nothing happened."

He nodded, "Me too."

"Derek?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I can be happy with him; really happy."

"It's been a week Mer."

He chuckled while she nudged him. "You know it's been longer than that. I've known him for two years now." She stopped upon receiving a stare from Derek. "Okay, so I've only really known him for one, and have been with him for a week. But, it's just, different."

He nodded, "Different from us."

"Yes," she confirmed. "Not that I regret us, Derek, because I don't. I loved you more than I've loved anyone, anything. I fell hard and it hurt. But the pain was worth the fall."

Derek chuckled. "I don't know whether I should be flattered or offended by that…explanation." He turned serious after their mutual grin. "But, I know what you mean." He put his arm around her shoulder. "I still love you Mer. I always will."

She nodded. "I know. And that's why we'll always be in each other's lives. I fully expect to be a god-mother, at least an aunt."

"Of course."

Meredith's phone rang. "Sorry."

He nodded in consent.

"Okay…right…are you sure…okay….I'm on my way."

"Mer?" He noticed her pale complexion. "Is everything all right?"

She shook her head 'no,' and then 'yes.' "I'm not sure. My dad, he's…"

"Dying."

"Yes, and he wants to…he wants to see me Derek. He doesn't have much time," her voice dropped. "And he wants to see me."

Knowing how much she was going through, he asked, "Do you want to see him?"

"I don't know." She shook her head yes. "I think so. I want him to… to die having said everything he needs to. I think I can give him that."

He nodded. "Okay. I'll tell Mark when he gets here where you went."

She got up and nodded. "Okay." She gathered her things. "Uh, Derek?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks," she leaned down and kissed him on the cheek.

He offered a sympathetic smile. "If you need me…"

"I will."

Derek watched her walk away, wishing that Thatcher would wise-up and stop hurting the daughter that he left. His thoughts paused as his friend, or best-friend (he wasn't quite sure) approached.

"Hey, Mark, there's…"

He didn't finish as Mark cut him off, obviously very pissed. "I don't know what you're trying to pull, or if you're trying to pay me back or something, but leave Meredith alone. You've hurt her enough."

Caught off guard, Derek scoffed, hands up. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You were pretty friendly with her. Even I could see that a few feet away."

Derek shook his head. "You're so off-base on this one."

Mark huffed, "Well, enlighten me Shep."

"We're friends, that's it." He looked at Mark for a response. He didn't get one. "You don't trust her?"

"I don't trust you," he retorted.

Derek, growing agitated, fired back, "If I was going to 'make you pay,' I would have done it a long time ago. Meredith's too in love with you to look at me twice that way ever again."

"Well, I---what? She loves me?"

Derek chuckled, his anger abated and replaced with bewilderment. "A lot. She hasn't said it, but you should see and hear the way she talks about you." He turned serious. "Don't break her Mark."

Mark, realizing that he had indeed blown things out of proportion, sighed and joined Derek on the bench. "Sorry man."

Derek nodded, offering him a cookie. It was toffee crunch. Mark grinned and accepted it.

"Meredith's favorite," they said in unison.

They chuckled and took in their surroundings.

"You love her, don't you?"

Mark didn't look at Derek. "I don't know. I think so. But, you know, it's different from Addison. I don't want to screw this up. Meredith is…the best. On the note of sounding corny, she makes me want to be better." He finished his cookie. "And if you repeat those words to anyone alive I will make you one of the undead, got it?"

Derek laughed, "got it."

Mark finally thought to ask why Meredith left. "Why'd she go?"

Derek finished his cookie and took a swig of his milk. "Thatcher wants to talk to her."

Mark didn't respond but the muscles in his jaw tightened as Derek interpreted. "Just be there for her. She's going to need it."

Mark nodded. "I know, but I'm not sure how to deal with all of…this. When he dies, she's gonna be…"

"A mess," Derek finished, nodding in understanding. "It's going to be unbelievably difficult for her. She's going to keep telling you she's fine, and then one day, out of the blue, she'll break. But, you can keep her together if you're there. Just don't let her push you away."

Mark nodded, making eye-contact. "Who would've thought that I'd fall in love with your wife _and_ girlfriend?"

Derek gave a stern look.

"Too soon?"

Derek nodded. "At least you waited until Meredith was an ex."

* * *

So, she made it to her father's room. All she had to do was go in. She gave a sad smile as Lexi noticed her and gave her father's hand a squeeze. He smiled as she got up to leave the room. Meredith so wanted that to be her. Somehow she knew she wasn't going to get that smile.

Lexi closed the door and looked at Meredith. "You can go in now, he wants to see you." She sighed, "He's in one of his lucid moments. I'm sure he'll recognize you."

She nodded, "I know. I just don't know what to say."

Lexi placed a hand on her shoulder. "Let him do the talking." She winked, lightening up the situation. "He owes you that much."

She walked across the hall to the vending machine while Meredith tentatively opened the door to Thatcher's room. She wasn't quite sure what to do. Deciding that she wasn't quite ready to sit next to him in the chair and play the 'dotting daughter,' she stopped at the foot of his bed.

It was the first time that she was in his room. She had gone past since he was admitted, but she always looked in; pretty much how she'd been doing all her life until Susan changed all of that. Susan. She missed her.

Quickly pushing that out of her mind, she was suddenly eager to get out of the room. She decided to speed things along as she studied her father's unreadable face.

"You wanted to see me?"

He nodded. He was weak. She knew he shouldn't exert himself. He knew it. There were just a couple of things he had to say. She could let him do that. The near-dead had the right to let the living squirm; at least she'd always thought so when she observed the final days between patients and their families.

Now, she was the family. Thatcher was the patient.

He wouldn't be in a couple of days. If that.

He motioned for her to take the seat vacated by his middle-child with Susan.

She cautiously took the seat. She nearly fainted when he took her hand.

He spoke slowly and clearly. "I need to tell you something."

She motioned for him to continue with her head, not able to speak. She'd always wondered how it would feel to hold his hand, much like she was doing now. It wasn't how she'd imagined it. It was so…cold, distant.

"I'm sorry."

She suddenly found her words. "Thatcher, it's okay." No, it wasn't okay. She didn't know why she said that. She was being nice. Yes, that was it. _Be nice. He's dying._

He poorly waved her off. "No. It's not. It's not okay that you killed the woman who wanted to be your mother. It's not okay that I had the misfortune of being your father."

She pulled her hand away from his grasp as if it were on fire. Tears threatened to fall. The anger slowly lent a hand to evaporation.

"That's what I'm sorry for, Meredith," her name sounding as if it hurt to say it, emphasized as if it were a curse. "I'm sorry I made you." He licked his lips, his mouth dry from speaking more than a few words at a time. "I should've listened to Ellis, at least about that. She didn't want you."

Her anger failed at keeping her tears at bay. She got up, not wanting to hear anymore. She couldn't.

She stumbled, almost falling on the ground after tripping over the chair, her eyes never leaving Thatcher's. "I'm…sorry." She pulled herself from mid-air with her hands clutching the side of his bed for support as she scrambled to get away.

"Lexi?" he grabbed Meredith's hand. She wanted to hurl.

She couldn't answer. She didn't need to.

"Could you tell Molly that I want to see the baby?" He smiled, half-talking to himself, no longer looking at Meredith. "I always wanted a granddaughter."

She pulled her arm away and somehow found the strength to put one foot in front of the other.

She closed the door, pausing to regain her composure to no avail. She couldn't do it. Not today. Not now.

Luckily the wing was empty, save for a nurse and Lexi who was waiting in the chairs. She warily approached Meredith, still in shock.

"Meredith?"

Meredith heard her name, but didn't know who it was. She didn't care. "I…I need to…leave." She was hyperventilating and sobbing at the same time. Her eye's met Lexi's. "I'm sorry."

And then she ran. She was good at running. Too bad she could never run without being in pain. It was sad, really. She couldn't get a work-out in unless her world was falling apart; a world which was held up with melting glue.

Lexi watched her leave. She looked through the window at her father, and then at Meredith's retreating form. She was confused.

She sighed, pulling out her phone. She didn't have his number, but she had George's. Hopefully, he would know Mark's number.

* * *

She was done. She didn't want to be happy anymore. Happiness was only an illusion that clouded your vision of reality. Soon enough, that illusion would vanish to reveal that your situation was never what you thought it to be. It only lasted as long as you held on to the fantasy. Once you let go all bets are off. Why be happy when you could be miserable from the start? That way you knew what was coming.

You expected it.

She got out of the cab and handed the driver a fifty, not even bothering to get her change of twenty bucks. She looked at the house she hadn't visited in eight years. She swallowed whatever pride she had left, already feeling the euphoria that she would experience momentarily.

She knocked on the door the way he taught her how. She knew it would only take a minute before he answered.

He opened the door, not expecting the only person it could be. He grinned and rubbed his scruffy chin at the sight before him.

"Meredith; my how've you grown."

"Sam."

She stepped inside, not waiting for an invitation. The two stared at each other for a moment. She knew it was a bad idea.

He knew it had to be pretty bad to show up again after eight years.

He gestured to the back of the house. She eagerly followed.

She was ready to forget.

* * *

**A/N**: _Wow, long chapter!_  _Okay, so, hope to be done by Friday. You guys are great reviewers! This is the most reviews I've had! I think it's because it was the weekend, but thanks. You guys are awesome!_

**KB22**: Thanks! Yeah, it's based on the show, but you gotta luv AU for your own twist! 

**Murgy31**: Glad to hear from you! Thanks for the review!

**Anon**: Thank you! Glad it works!

**Pitdroid**: LOL! You're comment about the sex quote was GREAT! Yeah, I don't think I'd like MerMark on the actual show…they would REALLY have to set it up for me and not have it about getting back at Derek. Thanks!

**Onlyone**-**chance8720**: Lol. Thanks. Dude, for real, Eric Dane is hot! Trying to figure out why I didn't see it before. Now I have to Netflix his movies and see if he was cute then too, or if he's a wino like Clooney…tastes better with age!

**MarianaTeresia**: Thanks hun!

**Surgery**-Girl: Glad I did the rambling well.  I try!

**Katherine** Austen: LOL…I know! Preston's line was great! It's like, out of character but not. Again, Gexie to come. Muah!

**Km157**: I was looking, and that was a longer chapter, lol. Glad you liked it. Stories from people make me super-duper happy when they're long! Thanks!

**Merderdreamy5**: Thank you so much…I'm humbled!


	7. No More

**No More**

He wasn't sure where she would go. He knew that it would probably involve vast amounts of alcohol, but that's all he had to go on.

Mark tried the usual first; Joe's, her house, the docks, but he couldn't find her anywhere. He decided that she couldn't have gone far because her car was still at work.

Then again, she could've taken a cab.

* * *

She leaned back on the couch, feeling as though she was watching herself lie back. She was pretty sure that she consumed enough more alcohol than any time at Joe's. Okay, she couldn't be sure. She was drunk. A little more than drunk. She wasn't sure what that made her.

Controller in hand, she glanced over to her companion. He was holding his own.

"Sam?"

He took a swig of his beer and stared hungrily at Meredith. "Grey?"

She shuttered at the name. She didn't know why. Sam used to call her that all the time.

But Mark called her that now.

Mark.

"What's wrong with me?"

Sam shrugged, still ogling her. "I don't see anything wrong."

"Sam, seriously." She tried to get up but her body protested. "No one wants me. I'm never good enough."

Tears were falling now, unbeknownst to Meredith and indifferently to Sam.

He put his beer down and took the video game controller out of her hands. "Well, you beat me. That's good enough." He got up and extended his hand, head nodding toward the bed. "Shall we?"

Meredith stared at his hand for a moment. It was getting harder and harder to focus. She slowly got what he wanted. She shook her head carefully.

"No, no. I don't do that anymore."

Sam smirked, attempting to pull her up. "Come on Grey. You want to feel better, don't you?"

She shook her head once more. "Yes. But I don't think that's such a good idea."

He let go, sitting down on the coffee table in front of her. "Then what the heck are you here for?" He motioned to her appearance as well as the bottle of liquor next to her. "You could have gotten drunk somewhere else. You obviously came here for a reason."

"I don't know why I came here." She slowly got up, ignoring the dizziness, nausea, and pain throbbing in her temple. "I'm, I'm in love with someone," she stuttered. "I couldn't cheat on him; ever." She lazily grabbed her things and stumbled toward the front of the house. "I'm sorry, and thank you. I needed to come here." She smiled and held her hand on the door knob. It was more for support than for effect. "You never ask questions; you never judge. You may be a little shady," she slurred, "but you never claim to be anything else."

She opened the door, "Goodbye Sam."

The door closed and Sam took Meredith's seat. "Goodbye Grey."

* * *

It had been two hours since anyone had last seen Meredith. Mark was growing worried. From what Derek warned him about and then from what Lexi told him, he wasn't sure what to expect except something bad. No one knew what happened in that room.

Mark drove around. He was stopped at a red light when he thought of something.

There was one place he hadn't tried. It was a long shot, but it was worth a shot.

She wasn't sure how she got there, but she was there. The sun was setting and provided an unusually serene and beautiful landscape for a conventionally morbid surrounding. She quickly found the place she was looking for. It was a miracle she didn't bust her head open on the tombstone when she fell in front of it.

"Hi mother. It's me, your daughter." She chuckled bitterly. "You know, the one you didn't' want."

Meredith didn't bother to brush away the tears that fell. She was suddenly vividly aware of life, the alcohol wearing off but still present.

"I tried my whole life to please you." She shook her head. "I don't know why. Nothing was ever good enough for you. I got all As in school once. Do you remember what you told me?" she asked, her focus on the date of her mother's death. "You told me that I could've done better, that they all could have been A pluses. Who does that?"

She ran her fingers across the inscription, 'mother and brilliant surgeon.' "Yes, that's what you were. A brilliant surgeon and horrible human being." She thought of the conversation with her father and caught a sob in her throat. "It's funny really; you guys divorced but are truly a perfect pair. You both hated me; what stronger bond is there than that?"

Meredith stood up, holding the tombstone for support. "You know, _Dr. Grey_, I have you to thank for screwing up my life. Would it have killed you to get to know me, to love me, despite of the ridiculous expectations you harbored? I can't be you, you can't live through me." She laughed callously, correcting herself. "Well, of course you can't, you're dead."

"Tell me, what did I do? Why wasn't I good enough? Was I not pretty? Smart? Why did I embarrass you? Why did you belittle me, every chance you got? You couldn't even be nice to be on your death bed. Neither could Thatcher." She wiped the hair from her face. "I don't understand," her voice breaking. "Why couldn't you just _love_ me?"

"I love you."

Momentarily terrified at the possibility of her rant awakening the dead, she stifled a yell as she turned at the accompanied rustling of leaves. It was okay. Someone alive had said it. Wait, that someone was Mark.

Mark Sloan loved her.

Pushing the thought aside as quickly as it raised hope, she shook her head sadly, looking from him to the grave.

"You don't have to say that Mark." She looked like she was going to break any moment.

'_But, you can keep her together if you're there. Just don't let her push you away._' Derek's words echoed in Mark's ears. She heard him say it. He meant it. She was dismissing it all together. He timidly stepped forward. "I meant it."

She shook her head in trance, her eyes surprisingly still capable of producing more water. "No, it's okay. You don't have to love me."

Mark stood in front of her. "I don't have a choice Grey. And if I did, I'd choose to anyway."

She let him wrap his arms around her. He felt her stiff body against his welcoming one, her arms kept to herself. They stood like this for a few moments before she caved. Completely.

"Why doesn't anyone want me?" she sobbed. Her sudden decision to go limp in his arms made it difficult for him to keep her up. He gently slid with her as they leaned again the tombstone, her body racking with sobs as she tried to speak coherently.

"I don't understand." Her body slowly found its natural rhythm with the occasional deep sigh. "He said I was a mistake."

Mark knew that she felt his body tense at the statement. It comforted her in a strange way. Knowing that his anger was not what she needed, he willed himself to relax.

"My mother didn't want me. She was going to have an abortion. He stopped her; I don't know why."

He didn't know how anyone could be cursed with such a cruel parent, let alone two.

He wasn't sure what to say, so he stayed silent, holding her. An hour had passed and it had gotten dark, her body limp against his and her breathing even. She had fallen asleep. From what he could tell, she needed it. She obviously had been drinking, no doubt due to the proclamations of her father.

He carried her to his car and drove her back to his apartment. He knew she didn't need questions asked. He changed her clothes and laid her on his bed, calling Lexi and Christina to let them know where she was. They would pass along the information.

Mark got ready for bed himself, gently joining her under the covers. She unconsciously moved her body into his, his arm draping around her waist. He didn't know if she was going to remember his confession. He meant it. He wondered if he scared her off or if she felt the same way. He didn't expect for her to say anything back; he wasn't going to pressure her. She had a lot to deal with at the time, and he was going to be there for her.

He just hoped she did remember. Even if she didn't say it back, he wanted her to know he loved her.

He was in love with Meredith Grey.

"_I_ want you Meredith," he whispered.

Mark kissed her hair and pulled her closer, her body gladly obliging. He was going to protect her. At least during the night, no one could hurt her. She was his. She was safe.

He could only take her pain away with the aid of unconsciousness. At least for now.

Reality sucked.

* * *

"Well, what did he say to her?" Christina looked expectedly at Lexi.

"She doesn't know Christina," George answered. "She wasn't in the room."

"He's a bastard." She looked at Lexi. "No offense."

Lexi shrugged. "To her, he is."

Christina got up. "Well, Steamy says he has her. There's nothing we can do until we see her." She headed toward the door. "I'll see you guys tomorrow."

George looked at Lexi. "Do you want me to stay?"

She nodded. "I'm going to go in his room. I understand if you don't want to be there."

He got up with her. "Meredith is my friend. I'm going to be there for her." He took her hand. "You're my…future-woman," he said, soliciting a giggle from her. "I'm here for you too."

He led the way. "Let's go."

* * *

Meredith woke up the next morning in a familiar bed, but one that was not hers. She quickly assuaged the fear and guilt of waking up next to Sam, but felt comfort instead. She smiled briefly as Mark lay on his stomach with his head turned toward her, his arm lazily draped over her abdomen.

She put one hand on her his arm, gently, and the other behind her head. Gazing at the ceiling she tried to piece together what happened the night before. That's right.

Her dad said she was a mistake.

She thought about getting up and drinking some more. She shook her head. She was an adult; a capable adult who could handle the situations life dealt. She just wished they didn't deal so many. She caved yesterday. She didn't want it to happen again. Thatcher didn't deserve it.

She wasn't going to self-destruct; she did enough of that years ago. Instead, she was going to build. She was going to build a new life with the blocks she had left. One of those blocks was Mark.

He loved her.

He said that he loved her.

Even though she wanted him to be lying, she knew he wasn't. It was the way he said it. It was _how_ he said it. He made three simple words seem like an anchor, a piece of himself given for her to hold on to, to believe in.

She wanted to believe. She did.

Her face welcomed the stream that flowed and wet the once dry material she rested her head on. She was going to try and be happy. With Mark, it didn't seem all that hard.

She fought the voices of her parents of being a failure, of being someone who couldn't be loved. Mark loved her. That was enough.

She smiled, carefully moving to wipe her face as so not wake up her knight. Yes, he was her knight. He never pretended to shine. He just always showed up.

"What are you thinking about?"

Meredith smiled. _'Gosh he sounds sexy in the morning.'_ "Nothing."

He continued in his husky voice, propping himself up on one elbow. "Nothing doesn't induce tears Mer." He wiped the remnants of her earlier self-examination.

She turned to face him. "Just thinking about yesterday."

Turning serious, he got her attention. "He's wrong Meredith."

She looked at him and nodded. "No, he was right. I was a mistake, they didn't want me."

His protest was cut off as she continued.

"But, I won't apologize for being born, or for who I am. I'm Meredith Grey. I'm a surgeon. I have the best family of friends any one could ask for. I have the most amazing man that I'm in love with. I wouldn't change anything if it means I would be here with you."

Mark's concern gaze slowly transformed into a smirk. He was relieved. "So, you do love me?"

She nodded, pulling him closer and grabbing the back of his head, their noses touching. "Yes, I do. I love you."

He grinned, still concerned for her state of mind, but knowing she meant what he wanted to hear. She was in love with him. He pulled her into a kiss. Let's just say if they had socks on, they weren't on now.

"And I love you."

She giggled, "I know," she said, beaming despite her circumstance, "You told me yesterday."

Letting a little of his guard down, he sighed.

"What?"

He shook his head slightly, "I thought you didn't believe me or that you didn't feel the same way. Glad that's over. This stuff is hard."

Meredith chuckled. "Mark Sloan, nervous and anxious?" She kissed him tenderly on the lips. "Glad I could be the one to cause such waves."

He smirked and welcomed her to lie on his chest. He stroked her hair.

"Mer, about yesterday…"

She gently shook her head. "Not now. I don't want to think about it anymore. They aren't going to ruin this moment." She trailed off. "Maybe I should change my last name. I don't think it suits me."

Mark kissed the top of her head. "Okay. When you're ready, I'm here."

She sighed, hugging him tighter. "I know."

* * *

**A/N**: _No worries, see? No drug dealer. Though she may have in the past. Didn't want her to completely lose herself over a deadbeat dad. I admit, alcohol, video games and sex may seem less than ominous, but this is Mer, lol. Ever seen her play video games? Didn't think so. She was desperate. But…couldn't have her sleep with anyone BUT McSteamy. People must know that these people CAN stay faithful! Lol. I love AU MerMark…they're just…great! The last one was long; this one a little shorter. Felt good to stop there. Three more chapters! Love you guys! You're truly great reviewers! ALL of you! (And thanks for listening to my longest AN ever.)_

**Katherine** **Austen**: I know! I don't want them all buddy…he hurt Mer enough. This is my way of getting him out of her life, his fault. He has to deal with the Mr. Reaper. Gave you little more taste of Gexie. They're cute; at least in AU!

**KB22**: No drugs. Don't want Mark to have to deal with that!

**Gwennon**: LOL. Your review had me laughing! Yes, her parents suck. Thanks for the compliment! Keep r & r!

**Aries03**, **Anon**: Thank you! Glad you're reading!

**Yasmine2388**, **Murgy31**, **km157**: Sam is a guy she used to…escape with. No drugs though!

**Mer's4life**: LOVED your guesses, lol. And yes, I hate Thatcher too!

**Surgery**-Girl: No, no drugs. Although she's probably done a few, lol. Thatcher sucks, royally. On the show, I can MAYBE understand the slap, and then a quick apology. But not the slap AND a 'don't come to the funeral.' That's just a bit much. Thanks for the review!

**Onlyone**-**chance8720**: Yes, Dane is Damn. Glad I moved you! Glad you like the story. Your complimenting about my writing was huge. Thank you!


	8. NonMemories You Push Away

**Non-Memories You Push Away**

Three days later Meredith was operating as if nothing happened. She tried with every fiber of her being to put it behind her. She really wanted to try and focus on the positive; not dwell on the past.

Mark was there. That thought alone brought a smile to her face whenever she felt herself slipping. She knew she had a lot to deal with, but that would have to wait until later. It was the way she survived.

Her friends had all noticed the change, both for good and bad. She talked to them, which is more than she ever did before, but her demeanor had slightly changed. She walked tall, but the moment she thought no one was looking she faltered. They weren't sure what it would take to fix her. It seemed like she was trying to remember to breathe.

Life shouldn't be that hard.

But, hers was, and she was dealing with it.

Meredith sat down for lunch. A small smile crept across as she felt a familiar presence.

"Is this seat taken?"

She shook her head, making eye-contact with the Chief. "No sir," she chuckled. "Even if it were, I'm sure you would've taken it anyway."

Derek smirked and sat down, opening his bottled water and moving his pasta around. He decided to dive right into the subject he wanted to discuss for the last couple of days.

"Are you breathing?"

She chuckled, with a hint of bitterness. Luckily, the sarcastic scoff came across as amusement. "You know, that line didn't go over too well the first time you used it on me."

He grinned, "I know, which is why I thought I'd give it another shot."

She took a bite of her salad. "Yes," she looked pensive, "I'm breathing."

The two knew what it meant. There was no need for a long redundant conversation. He had his answer.

"Good."

Silence allowed the two to nearly finish their meals.

"He loves you."

She smiled. "I know."

He sighed and made eye-contact, an understanding exchanged by glance.

"How did we end up here?" Meredith asked as she leaned back.

Derek smiled, joining her as he relaxed in his chair. "We knew when to let go."

She nodded, offering a smile as she stood up. "I guess we did." She picked up her tray. "Thanks Derek; I'm glad we stayed friends."

Derek smiled in return, "Me too."

* * *

Three hours later the five interns were in their old hang-out area in the basement. Each had a ten minute break before the annual staff meeting. Though they all loved surgeries, they silently savored the opportunity to sit down, off their feet, and listen to people ramble about policies and developments and such. As they knew and dated much of the senior staff, they actually tried to pay attention to the subject matter.

"I'm getting married in a month and a half."

"Yes," Izzie added excitedly, "and everything is mostly all set!"

Alex looked at George, "Is she getting married, or Christina?"

George chuckled, "I don't know anymore."

Meredith shuffled through her magazine, "Did you guys know that if you drink a beer a day, you gain sixteen pounds in a year?"

Everyone glanced at their stomachs. "Which is why we mainly do liquor," Christina answered.

"Well, at least the girls do," Izzie said, noticing that the men were still examining their mid-sections.

Meredith's and George's pagers went off. The both looked down absentmindedly, mechanically silencing the beep, Meredith still amused by the current conversation. "I guess Mark is a freak of nature then. Have you _seen_ his abs?"

"Geez Mer, lusty much?" Izzie said.

Alex laughed, "And you say men treat girls like animals."

Christina sided with the women, "Hey, she's just admiring the perfection."

"Okay, let's steer the conversation away from my man's body," Meredith laughed.

George looked pale. "Uh, Mer?"

Meredith composed herself. "Yeah?"

He continued timidly. "You need to check this page."

She was fully focused now, grabbing her pager. "Why?"

She read the message. She wasn't aware of the sound that escaped her lips, "Oh."

George got up as the rest of the group quieted, very much aware of what the page entailed.

"Mer?"

She got up and replaced her pager, letting the magazine fall to the ground. "Uh, yeah."

"Come on," he ushered her to the door. "We'll take you there."

* * *

They arrived outside of his room. Lexi was already there, crying over Thatcher's body. Meredith looked at George, sensing his dilemma. She gave a sad and forced smile.

"Go ahead George. She needs you."

He looked at her, unsure.

She shooed him away. "I'll be fine. Go ahead."

Nervous about the reality of the situation not being faced by her friend, Izzie started, "Mer, are you okay?"

Meredith gulped, no tears evident. "No." She looked at Christina. "Someone needs to tell Derek we won't be at the meeting." It was more of a statement that a request. Her eyes didn't leave Lexi after that; or the lifeless body of her the man that helped create her.

* * *

Derek glanced at his watch as Miranda did the same. It was five minutes after the meeting was scheduled to start.

"They never learn," Miranda said.

Derek chuckled, "I hate to do it, but we have to start without them."

Both had a funny feeling about all five residents absent at the same time. Derek looked over as Mark walked toward him.

"I'll go find out where they are. Go ahead and start the meeting."

Derek grinned, whispering, "You just don't want to be in this meeting."

Mark smirked, walking away. "You said it, not me, _Chief_."

Derek shook his head. When were these people going to recognize his authority?

"Okay," he cleared his throat, addressing his staff. "Let's begin."

* * *

It took a few minutes, but George was able to get Lexi to step away so that they could take Thatcher to the morgue.

Izzie and Christina stood and watched Meredith, expecting her to break at any moment. She hadn't cried, moved, or said anything since they'd arrived.

Alex stood slightly behind Meredith. He softly placed a hand on her shoulder and whispered, "I'm not going anywhere." He took a step back and watched her.

Mark rounded the corner and smirked as he saw Christina and Izzie leaning against the nurses' station. His grin faltered as he noticed they looked…sad. That was when he saw Meredith and Alex.

It didn't look good.

His thoughts were confirmed as Thatcher's body was wheeled out. He tried to follow Meredith's gaze. It didn't change.

Christina, Izzie, and Alex did the same, surprised when her focus didn't shift to the body being taken away from the room it had previously occupied. Instead, it stayed with Lexi.

Lexi, her sister; the one her father actually cared about.

Meredith watched as she crumbled to the ground, George looking helpless with a few tears himself, no doubt remembering how he felt when his father died.

Alex saw Mark advance, nodding as he stepped further back to join Christina and Izzie. Meredith didn't make any indication that she was aware of Mark's presence. He timidly called out for her, her name coming out more as a need to confirm her state than as an address.

"Mer?"

She didn't move at first. Reluctantly tearing her gaze from Lexi, she faced Mark.

"I'm not okay," she spoke, evenly, mechanically. "But right now, Lexi needs me." She gave his hand a squeeze has he pulled her into a hug. She stepped away, mouthing a programmed but genuine thank you to her friends.

Mark watched her way, his tears in place of her expected ones. They didn't spill over, not getting the chance to. He didn't blink as he watched Meredith enter the room, relieving George of consolation.

George took a step back, not wanting to leave Lexi, but understanding the two needing to be together. He solemnly joined the three already seated, passing Mark as he leaned against the counter.

Meredith joined Lexi on the floor, Lexi briefly stifling her sobs as she looked at Meredith, searching in confusion as to why she was helping her grieve for a man who had done nothing but hurt her. She was quickly assuaged when she looked at Meredith's eyes. There was only compassion directed at Lexi.

A few minutes later Lexi's sobs subsided. Meredith pulled her up and made sure she was okay. Lexi nodded and Meredith led her out, joining the group.

They rose and looked at her expectedly.

"Mark, could you take Lexi and me to her house?"

Mark nodded, unsure of what was going on.

Meredith addressed the rest. "Thank you guys, for staying. You guys can meet us at the house later."

They nodded, also unsure, but knowing that Meredith was doing what she needed to do.

"George, you can come to Lexi's. I know she wants you there."

George followed the three to the lounge.

"Is she…"

"She'll be fine Izzie," Christina finshed.

"Yeah," Alex drifted off. "She will be. Eventually."

They were headed to the meeting when Derek advanced quickly towards them.

"You're telling Sheppard," Christina barked at Alex.

"Why me?"

"Because she said so," Izzie added.

Derek stopped in front of them. "Care to explain?" He looked around. "Where is everyone else?"

Alex ran a hand through his hair. "Um…well…"

"Oh spit it out Karev," Derek cut him off.

Christina rolled her eyes. "Thatcher's dead," she huffed.

Body ready to yell, Derek exhaled. "Oh." He let his clipboard fall to his side. "Well then, carry on."

* * *

The car ride to Lexi's house was a quiet one. Meredith inwardly cringed. She never stopped to think that Lexi's house was Thatcher's. Mark felt her tense as he held her hand.

"You okay?"

She nodded, not making eye-contact. "Mmhmm."

The three got out of the car and went inside. Meredith didn't look around in order to avoid any feeling of jealousy to creep up. She needed to be clear and unbiased for Lexi.

George arrived shortly after and the four of them made small funeral arrangements. The rest of the family was notified. Everything was completed within the hour. Most of the other things had already been taken care of. His death wasn't a surprise.

Meredith's eyes surveyed the room as she waited for Lexi to change. She didn't want to, but it was hard not to notice all of the family pictures and trinkets lying around. Mark and George made themselves scarce in the kitchen.

Her eyes watered at the reminders of Susan. She shook her head as to make them disappear, succeeding as Lexi returned with an album. She sat down on the couch and flipped through it. She motioned for Meredith to join her.

"This is my favorite picture," Lexi chuckled, a tear making a trail down her face. "This was when I graduated high school. He was happy then. Really happy."

Meredith surveyed the picture. Lexi, Molly, and Terry were smiling with Thatcher and Susan on the ends. Lexi had about three leis and smiled widely as she held her diploma.

She got up quickly.

"Mer?"

She cleared her throat. "I'm sorry; I can't do this."

Realizing what happened, she put her head down. "No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

Meredith held her hand up. She offered a small smile. "I know; it's just…harder than I thought."

She turned to walk away, pivoting back, "But I'll be here for you as much as I can." She looked at her hands. "I'm sorry for your loss."

Lexi smiled, got up, and placed the album down. She walked over to Meredith, engulfing her in a hug. "Thank you."

Meredith, somewhat taken aback, returned the hug. "You're welcome."

She quickly made her way to the kitchen, the men standing up at her presence.

"Mer?"

She looked at Mark. "I need to leave."

He once again nodded and grabbed his coat, gesturing good-bye to George.

Meredith turned around. "Thanks George. Take care of her."

He nodded. "Mer?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry too, you know, for you." He walked to and gave her a hug.

She nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

Mark opened the door to his apartment and watched Meredith put her things down carefully. He scrunched his eyebrows as he noticed she never did that. She always threw her stuff on the couch and called it a day.

He decided to let her speak first. She was doing really good with that lately. She would do it when she was ready. By the pensive look on her face and language of her body on the couch, he figured that would be right about…

"I don't care."

"Babe?" he inquired. He took a seat next to her.

She seemed to momentarily ignore him. "I mean, I do care, but I don't. I guess I'm kind of glad that he's dead. I mean, not for Lexi, and not in the 'I wish you were dead' kind of way, but glad that I won't have to deal with him." She looked at Mark, suddenly realizing something. "Okay, I still have a lot of stuff to deal with. I just thought when he died it would be easier, you know, since we knew it was coming." She chuckled bitterly. "But it's a good thing he chewed me out before he died. He made me get the grieving out of the way. I don't feel anything. Is that bad that I don't feel anything? Okay, maybe hate, but hate would require me to care. And I don't care. At least I don't want to."

She watched as Mark stared at her. "What?"

He smirked slyly, happy that she was sharing but also wary of where it was going. "Nothing. I'm glad you're talking."

She scoffed, "You mean rambling?"

"Rambling is good; that constitutes talking."

The two shared a glance for a moment, comfortable in the gaze. Meredith broke it when she got up. "Let's take this to the bed."

Momentarily caught of guard, he joined her. "Babe, are you sure you want to…"

"Head out of the gutter Sloan." She grabbed his hand and led him to the bedroom. "I'm tired and want to lie down."

Slightly embarrassed he obliged and followed her. He watched her change clothes and reluctantly did the same.

'_Now is not the time to think about that Sloan.'_

He brushed nature aside and focused on the woman that needed him. He got in bed and motioned her to find her spot on his chest. He wouldn't tell her, but that was his favorite.

"Am I horrible that I can't cry?"

She could feel Mark's body move. "No; I think it's like you said, you grieved before. Maybe you've just reached your point and you've had it."

She nodded, her hair grazing his chest as she drew circles on his stomach.

He really wished she'd stop doing that.

"But, in case you find out later that you need to finish, I'm here. When we go to the funeral-"

"I'm not going."

Succeeding in hiding his surprise, he asked, "Are you sure?"

She contemplated for a moment. "Yes. You go there to honor and remember a loved one, right?"

"Yes."

"Well," she sighed. "I don't want to do either."

"Okay then."

"Okay?"

"Yes. Whatever you decide, we'll do it together."

He could feel her smile. "Mark?"

"Yeah?"

"Let's go on a vacation; just you and I."

He played with her hair. "Okay, where?"

"I don't know." She sat up on his chest. "As long as it's away from here."

He chuckled. "Okay. And when is said trip taking place?"

She sighed, lying back down. "I guess after the wedding. Christina won't say it, but she'll mostly freak if I'm not here and then show up for the wedding. She might skip town."

"Very true." He paused, "Mer?"

She looked up at him. "Yes?"

"I love you, you know that, right?"

She nodded, "Yes." She looked around.

"What are you doing? Serious moment here," he joked.

"I was just checking for secret wives."

"I'm not Derek."

She wasn't sure if there was a glint of hurt behind that statement or not, but she regretted it either way.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"I guess I can forgive you; you share my bed and everything."

She laughed, a real laugh since earlier that day. "That's good to know." She snuggled under him as they spooned. He turned the light off.

"Mark?"

"Mmhmm."

"Thank you."

* * *

**A/N:** _Two more to go folks! You guys are great!_

**MarianaTeresia**: Lol. You are on the right page about that name!

**Murgy31**: I'm glad they didn't come off too cheesy!

**KB22**: Lol. You and one other got that one. Thank you so much!

**TVHollywoodDiva**: Thank you. Hope you enjoy the last two!

**Aries03**: I know, if she would have chosen Finn then Derek would have stepped up and really been good to her. And maybe she would've wised up a little. But yup, definitely into the AU MerMark.

**Onlyone**-**chance8720**: Yes, I totally ADORE long reviews. I did a happy dance when I viewed yours. Thank you so much for the compliment. LUVED IT! Made my night. I know, two more chapters. Glad you LOVE it. 

**Merderdreamy5**: Believe it or not, if they do it RIGHT, I'm sure he could change for her on the show. They'd have to really convince me though.

**Katherine** **Austen**: Thank you! HUGE compliment. How's your ribbon doing? Let me know if you need another


	9. A Day Early, Right On Time

**A Day Early, Right On Time**

The next few weeks went by, surprisingly fast. It had been a month and the wedding was in two weeks. Meredith was dealing slowly with her father's revelation and death. Mark let her take it at her own pace and was more than happy to help her through it. She still hadn't cried about it anymore. He didn't think she was going to.

Lexi and George had officially become a couple. No one was really surprised; they had been acting like one from the start. Lexi and Meredith were doing well too. Lexi had even introduced her to the rest of her sisters. Things seemed much easier without parents around. Meredith wasn't eager to get close to any of them; it was going to take a long time to trust any other Grey.

* * *

"You are a sad, sad man Sheppard." Mark shook his head as he chuckled and took a seat next to Derek on his porch. He had officially finished building his house. It was…huge. There was still a lot of land and forest to revel in. It was Derek's dream home.

Derek looked at his friend and then back out to the scenery. "So what."

"How long are you going to keep flying there?"

Derek scoffed, "I've only gone once Mark. You act like I go there every weekend."

"You want to," he huffed. "You, my friend, are whipped."

Derek didn't respond right away. "I told her I love her," he blurted.

Mark spit his beer out. "You don't know slow, do you?"

He chuckled, taking a swig. "No, I guess not."

Mark looked at Derek and did the same. "Well, by the grin on your face, I'd say she feels the same way."

Derek nodded. "Yup."

The two sat in comfortable silence. Mark spoke up.

"I hope your happy this time." Derek looked at him, searching for motive. He found none. "Really."

Derek nodded, gesturing his bottle towards him. "Thanks." He paused, "You too."

It was Mark's turn to grin. "I am." He crossed his feet and put them up. "You know, when you're gone, Mer and I can keep an eye on the house."

Derek stared disbelievingly at Mark. "You are just…wrong."

* * *

"I don't see why I just can't go to City Hall and get this over with." Christina lied across the couch, arm above her head. "It would be so much easier; less…dainty."

Meredith smiled. She was used to Christina's anxiety. She'd suggested the same proposal five different times. Meredith got up from lying on the floor, leaning against the couch her friend occupied.

"You're doing this for him." She shrugged her shoulders. "Besides, you'll look back and be glad you did the whole thing. It also may be the only other time I get to see you in a long, formal dress. Heck, it might be the last time you see _me_ in a long, formal dress."

Christina paused, her response not directed at the previous statement but acknowledged in continuance. "And _mama_ is a nightmare. You can't imagine how horrible she is to me. She's like the freak'n evil step-mother who…" She stopped at the far-away look on Meredith's face. "Oh, my bad."

Meredith smiled and shook her head. "It's okay. Not everyone is like my parents. Moving on, remember?"

"Right, so yeah, you know how about the crappy parent stuff. She's a different kind of crappy. All…I don't know. But I'm not looking like someone from Moulin Rouge. If that happens Mer, fix me."

Meredith chuckled. "Don't worry, I got your back. Anything you need, like a last minute escape, extra underwear…I got you."

"That was…gross."

Meredith huffed, lying back down. "But you got the point. I'm your person."

"Yeah. Now, as my person, could we enjoy this day off?"

Meredith nodded. "Sounds like a plan."

"Oh," Christina added as an afterthought. "Derek wants you to stop by. He wants to give you your birthday present a day early."

"Okay, but could we take like, a thirty minute power nap?"

"What are we, like, in pre-school?"

* * *

"Mark," Izzie said, joining the two men on the porch. "What time is she supposed to be here?"

Mark checked his watch. "Christina said she'd call, but she's supposed to be here in two hours. Why?"

Izzie shook her head. "Nothing." She wandered back inside, mumbling to herself, "Just have to time this icing right."

Derek shook his head, "That woman, she's a weird one."

Mark laughed in agreement, "Yeah, but her food is good."

"Was that a-"

"No Derek, I really _meant_ her food."

Derek chuckled, hands up in defense. "Okay, okay. Just thought I'd check."

"Since this conversation is headed no where fast," he nodded inside, "how 'bout a game of pool?"

Derek nodded. "You're on."

* * *

"Now why the heck are we going to Alex's house?"

Christina focused on the view in front of her as she drove. "Because, we're picking up Addison."

From the passenger seat, Meredith shifted. "And why are we picking up Addison?"

Christina racked her million-dollar brain. "Because, she and Alex had a fight."

Meredith furrowed her eyebrows. "Why would Addison call you?"

Christina didn't squirm. Christina, who did not squirm, was close to squirming. _'Why, of all the times, is she perceptive _now.'

"Because, she's my bridesmaid."

Meredith looked pensive for a moment. "That still doesn't make sense. She's more my friend than yours."

Christina looked at her, incredulously, "So, what, you're the only one she can call?"

"No, I wasn't saying that; it's just, weird."

"Well," she scoffed, "if it makes you feel better, she called your house while you were getting ready, so, technically, she did call you."

A smile crept on Meredith's face.

"What?"

"She called me. We're friends."

Christina shook her head. "I still don't get it. You're friends with your exes' ex; it's weird." She thought for a moment, "Then again, you're still friends with Derek. You even hooked him up with Grace." She glanced at Meredith. "So I guess Addison calling you isn't so…unusual."

"Are you jealous?"

Glad that she steered the conversation in another direction with ease, she ended with the usual banter. "Shut it."

* * *

"Lexi?"

She backtracked, responding to her name. "Yes?"

Mark watched as Derek racked the balls. "Did you get in touch with your sisters?"

Lexi shifted the six-pack she was carrying to her other arm. "Yeah."

"Are they coming?"

Lexi nodded.

"And they'll be here before-"

"She gets here," she confirmed. "Yes."

Derek smirked. "Anxious much?"

Mark stepped up to break the ball formation. "I just want her to have everyone here."

Derek and Lexi smiled, as he asked, "What, no comeback Sloan?"

Mark grinned. "No, not tonight." He looked over at Lexi as she shifted hands again. "George didn't bother to carry that for you?"

Lexi laughed as they heard a tumble. "No; that would be him right now. He was carrying the projector and stuff."

The men nodded in understanding. "Got it."

* * *

"Hey Addy."

Addison got in the car, smiling and carrying her Armani bag. "Hey Mer."

Addison watched as Meredith stared at her expectedly and Christina looked as if she were trying to tell her something.

"Yes ladies?"

Meredith paused before answering. "Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be," she replied, looking between the two women.

Christina cleared her throat, "You know, because of that fight you had with Alex and then called Meredith to pick you up."

Meredith looked at Christina oddly while realization set in for Addison.

"Oh, yes; that. Everything's fine now, but I still needed to get out. We need our space."

Meredith nodded. "Understandable. We're gonna run an errand and then stop at Derek's." She got excited. "He's giving me my birthday present early."

Addison smirked. "Does it involve him naked?"

"Addison!"

"She wishes," Christina further commented.

"Double-teaming: not fair." Meredith chuckled as she continued. "We're gonna get a bite to eat after if you still want to hang out."

Addison nodded, finishing putting on her lip gloss. "Sounds good to me."

Meredith took a look at Addison. "You look nice."

Addison stole a glance at Christina. "Thanks.

* * *

"Dude, sit down. You're acting like you're going to propose or something," Alex said. He watched as Mark paced around the room.

"He's right," added Derek. "I just got this carpet and you're already wearing it out. You're paying for it."

George smiled as Mark took a seat.

"What if I was?"

The group looked at him confused. "What if you were, what," Preston asked.

Mark took his time answering. "What if I were to ask her?"

"If you were to ask her what Sloan? Will you say it already?" Alex said.

"Oh my gosh," Derek said, standing up. "You're thinking about asking her to marry you."

The room went silent as the men stared at Mark. He didn't deny it.

"Well; are you," George asked.

Mark nodded. "Yes. But not tonight. I don't want to force it. Her dad just died, she's trying to rebuild her life—"

"Not to mention you've only dated for a couple of months," Alex interrupted.

Preston sided with Mark, "But they've been friends for a year before that. It's not so sudden," he added, clearly empathizing with Mark's situation.

Mark nodded in gratitude. "I don't want to rush her though, so I might not even bring it up."

Derek chuckled.

"What?" Mark asked.

Derek continued to chuckle, "I don't think I've ever seen you this nervous. That includes the first time you asked out Sherry Arrowhead in ninth grade and went out on a date with her and her senior twin brothers."

Mark sighed. "Yeah, well, you'd be nervous too if you wanted to marry someone who you weren't sure wanted to marry you and had to worry about ruining the best thing that ever happened to you and losing the love of your life. I know she's the one."

"_One_ of the ones, or the one?" Alex piped.

Everyone just kind of scoffed and ignored the comment. They all knew he knew Mark meant it. He was just playing the obligatory protective friend card.

George laughed. "Well, you got her rambling down."

Alex finished his beer and stood up. "Sloan confessing love for anybody; this is getting way too chick-flicky. I'm getting another beer. Let me know when the testosterone levels in this room go back to normal."

* * *

"All right guys, I'll be right back. I'm just going to run inside and get it," Meredith said, getting out of the car and shutting the door.

Addison turned quickly to Christina, "What do we do?"

"What do you mean?"

"Shouldn't we go in with her?"

She nodded, "Yeah, but we have to wait a few seconds. She's going to wonder why we're following her."

Addison nodded, excited. She watched as Meredith was halfway to the door. "Did you call Mark?"

"Yeah, I called and hung up five minutes ago. They should be ready." Meredith was practically at the door. "Okay, let's go.

* * *

"

Meredith knocked on the door. She could've sworn she heard running in the house. Wishing she would've called before she came, she decided to ring the doorbell. She didn't notice Addison and Christina walk up behind her.

"Mer?"

"Geez!" she squealed, holding her chest. "You scared me!"

Christina apologized. "Sorry." She turned to Addison, "She needed to use the bathroom."

Meredith composed herself. "Then why are you here?"

Christina looked at her incredulously. "Seriously? We're in the freak'n woods. People die in the woods. People go and get killed, and no one finds them. You want to know why? Smart people don't go into the woods."

Meredith shook her head and knocked again. No answer.

"I don't think he's here guys."

The two exchanged glances. "Why don't you try to open it?"

"And do what Christina? I don't even know what the present is."

Christina waved at her. "It doesn't matter. At least Addison could use the bathroom."

Meredith thought for a moment, "Okay."

Meredith tried, and to her surprise, the door was open. She felt her way through the familiar house in the dark and flipped on the switch. For the second time in two minutes, her heart stopped.

"SURPRISE!"

* * *

**A/N**: _Okay, so weird place to stop, but I felt so bad about not updating for two days that I decided to give you SOMETHING! Please, don't stone me! Lol. I just quit my job and have been celebrating the last two days. So, I'm doing the unusual and updating on a weekend. One more chapter ladies and gentlemen, but don't worry…it'll be a long good one! Thank you so much…muah!_

**Onlyone**-**Chance8720**: I love you! Thank you so much for that review! Happy face! (I will keep you posted about a sequel or another one.)

**KB22**: Lol. I think you have your answer!

**Surgery**-**Girl**: Haha…I love them too! And no, Thatcher being dead and rejoicing is not evil. 

**Punkchick18**, **Lovelavender**: Thank you! Hope you stay tuned!

**Merderdreamy5**: Thanks for the compliment on the character development. I appreciate it. And I enjoy MerAlex friendship too. Had to get it in there!

**Katherine** **Austen**: Lol. Yup, Gexie, only for you! I'm glad Meredith made you proud here; she made me proud there too! Consider this the blessing for your second ribbon. Muah!

**TVHollywoodDiva**: Thanks a bunch!

**Aries03**: Lol, yeah, I like how you noticed I haven't done a sex scene. I LOVE Grey's but am also a Christian…sex scenes are little morally conflicting if you know what I mean! Thanks, I love the MerMark too! Eric Dane is HOT!

**Murgy31**: Thanks for always reviewing, no matter what my story!


	10. Ever

**Ever**

To say the gathering of faces was unexpected was more than an understatement. If Addison and Christina hadn't been behind her, Meredith was sure she would have fallen back from shock. She stumbled a little, hand over her chest, for just a moment. The overhead light brought focus to the culprits. She kept her gaze on the duo as they smirked, one particularly eager to be fed her response to the situation. A grin began to creep about her features, not quite able to make its full presence known as she was bombarded with hugs and wishes.

Once the preliminary people were out of the way, her family stepped forward.

"Wow," Alex said, handing her a beer, "you really didn't know about the party."

She shook her head and smiled as a pair of arms wrapped around her waist from behind. "No," she replied, looking at Derek, then to Christina and Addison, "I didn't know. The day was a little odd now that I think about it, but you guys did well." She turned to Derek, "So, where's my present?"

He scoffed, "Seriously?" He gestured to their surroundings. "Look around; you're throwing a freak'n party in my house. That's a present that should last for a couple of years."

The friends laughed as he continued, "Plus, it wasn't my idea." He pointed to Mark. "I was going to take credit if you liked it, and then blame it on him if you didn't. But, judging on how nervous he was and…"

"I was not nervous," Mark cut in.

George scoffed, "Right."

Mark gave all the men a death glare while the women continued aware but indifferent.

"So Meredith," Izzie began, "You like chocolate, right?"

Meredith nodded, "Uh, yeah. You've been living with me for a couple of years now."

Izzie shook her head, "I know, just checking. I'll be back." She headed to the kitchen.

"What's up with her?" she asked, turning to Mark.

"I don't know," he grinned. "She's your friend."

Christina stopped the scene that was beginning to unfold. "Don't you dare start making out. It was hard getting her here; the least you can do is let us talk to her for a few more moments before you have one of yours."

Addison snickered as she held on to Alex's arm and gave him a kiss.

Meredith turned to face them. "I thought you guys were fighting?"

Alex looked confused as Addison grinned.

"Oh," Meredith caught on. "Right. Part of the plan."

Christina shook her head. "Yeah. And why were you so perceptive today?"

"What do you mean?" Meredith feigned offended. "I'm always perceptive. I'm a surgeon."

Christina brushed her response aside. "You're usually dense." She then addressed Addison. "And she seems to think that she is the only one you would call if you and Alex had a fight."

Addison chuckled, "Really?"

Meredith blushed a little, "No! I just found it odd that you would call Christina."

"Why?" Christina dared.

"Because you're…" Meredith stammered, "Christina!"

* * *

A half-hour later Meredith had chatted with the guests for a bit and found Mark talking to another surgeon. She made eye-contact and gestured for him to go out on the porch. She led the way as he followed, excusing himself from the conversation.

He smiled when he saw her swinging, he legs touching the ground every now and then and her hair blowing lightly. He took a seat next to her as she leaned into him.

"Thanks."

She chuckled. "Shouldn't I be saying that to you?"

He grinned as he felt his chest move from the vibration of her words. "I meant for getting me out of that conversation. I don't know why everyone thinks I'm always interested in talking about surgeries. I'm still a man too."

She hugged him a little tighter. "That you are." She leaned back and stared at him. "But really, thank you." He watched as she got a small far-away look in her eyes. "I've never had a surprise party before."

"Never?"

She shook her head. "No. And I wasn't sure I'd like one either."

"Do you," he asked pensively.

She smiled in affirmation. "Yes, I do."

He took her back in his arms. "Good."

"But…" she started.

"But what?"

"I still get to celebrate tomorrow though too, right?"

He chuckled. "Yeah, you do. It'll be just the two of us."

She nodded into his chest. "Sounds good to me."

* * *

"Okay everyone, could we have your attention please?" Izzie yelled over the buzz of the crowd as George fumbled with some wires.

The room gave their attention to the TV where the two were standing. The gang was behind Meredith as she was ushered to sit with Mark in the front. Everyone was excited to show her the communal present. Even Christina had her own version of a smile showing for all to see.

Meredith, anxious and nervous about what was happening and being the center of attention, grabbed Mark's hand. He smiled and returned the squeeze lightly. He loved her hand in his. Heck, he just loved anything that had to do with Meredith. Any contact drove him crazy.

George finally got everything together and stood up. He looked at the crowd, particularly at Meredith as he spoke. "Well, since we're all surgeons and we've bought gifts for each other for a couple of years now, we decided to give a gift that was creative and something that we could all pitch in on, that didn't involve money."

The group chuckled a bit. Mark could feel Meredith relax a little.

"So, all of us," he gestured at her family, "decided to put together a little collage to some of our favorite music. We've added a few things from when she was little, and included old," he glanced at Lexi, "and new family. So," he looked at Meredith, "Mer, this is for you."

Meredith smiled back and got comfortable as the lights went down and the TV came on. She smiled as a few shots of her with Richard appeared. Next were a few with Grace, a couple of the them in their intern days, her and Derek, more of all of them, a lot with Mark, a few with Lexi, and of course, more of the gang. It ended with a picture of Mark and Meredith at a bar-b-que. They were obviously very happy and it was evident they were in love; they weren't even looking at the camera. The words 'And Many More To Come' danced across the screen as the last song ended. The lights came back on and the oohs and ahhs turned into applause.

Meredith had a steady stream of tears falling down as Izzie handed her a box of Kleenex after she got a few for herself. She was prepared in true Izzie fashion.

Meredith got up and hugged her family. The rest of the party went on.

"Thanks guys," Meredith sniffed. "That was…yeah."

"You weren't supposed to cry; man-up," Christina grinned.

Meredith smiled, "Which is why you're holding a crumpled tissue?"

Christina hid it. "I have allergies."

* * *

Two hours later Meredith had expressed her appreciation to everyone and headed out the door. Twenty minutes after that they were at Meredith's house.

"Hey Mer."

"Mmm?"

Mark chuckled as he coaxed her from her sleep. "We're here. Want me to carry you?"

She opened her eyes and shook her head lightly. "No, I'm okay." She looked at the backseat. "But you can help me take the presents in."

After they were settled they showered and lied in the bed.

"I really had a good time tonight Mark. Thank you."

He grinned and stroked her hair. "Anything for you."

"It's good to be loved."

He chuckled as she snuggled into him. "Yes, it is. So yeah, love you and all that stuff."

She playfully hit him. "Jerk."

"Not anymore." He looked at the clock. "Mer?"

She was already ready for sleep again. "Mmhmm?"

"Happy birthday."

* * *

_**Two weeks later…**_

"It's too tight!"

Meredith looked at Christina in her gown. It was an hour until the ceremony started. "Are you sure?"

Christina moved in front of her, "Yes! I'm sure!"

Izzie came from the bathroom, already in her gown like everyone else. "Whoa, Christina, is there something you want to tell us?"

Christina looked like a deer in headlights as she followed Izzie's gaze. Addison stopped putting on her make-up. She focused on her mid-section. "Christina, are you-"

"Yes! I'm pregnant okay? What does that have to do with the dress being too tight!"

Meredith, pushing away the initial shock and smiling at the last couple of weeks of Christina's behavior, forgave her person for her current state of being freaked out. "Christina, how long have you known?"

Christina pouted as she sat down, dress unzipped. "For two weeks."

Addison, "But you look-"

Christina finished again, without malice, "Three months."

A series of oohs echoed around the room. Meredith smiled.

"What?"

"Well, this just explains Preston's sudden over-protectiveness and you pretending to still consume alcohol." She thought for a moment. "He does know, right?"

Christina shook her head, smiling briefly, "Yeah."

Meredith thought about the times she did see Christina consume alcohol. "Is the baby okay?"

"Yeah; we've been seeing Dr. Winters at Mercy." She looked at Addison. "But, since you know now, would you, I mean, you can say no, like, consider, being-"

"I'd be honored to."

Izzie clapped, "Yeah! You're pregnant _and_ getting married!"

Christina smiled, but still mildly concerned. "Yes, Barbie, but I still can't fit into my dress."

Izzie's smile didn't falter. "No worries." She grabbed something from her bad. "I can make some adjustments." She stood in front of Christina. "Turn around please." She smirked at Addison and Meredith, holding out her hand. "Needle."

* * *

"Is it in bad taste to say you look hotter than the bride?"

Meredith smiled widely as Mark took a seat next to her. She was watching the couple do their first dance as Mr. and Mrs. Preston Burke.

"If I were the bride, than I would say yes. But, considering I _do_ look hot and that I am the woman you are in love with, than no, it's not."

He grinned and leaned in for a kiss. "Care to dance?"

"I'd love to."

Mark and Meredith were dancing when Derek cut in. Mark excused himself for a drink as he joined Addison and Alex who were also exiting the dance floor. A song later, Meredith saw a familiar face walking toward her. Doing her best (and doing an awful job) at hiding her excitement, she decided that Derek would be more pleased and needed to interact with the approaching individual more than she did. The person tapped Derek's shoulder.

Expecting it to be another man, Derek turned slowly at first; that was until he heard the familiar voice. "May I have this dance?"

Derek, too stunned to speak anything but her name, shook his head. "Grace!"

Meredith smiled and nodded at Grace, signaling that they would get a chance to speak later. She didn't get away without noticing the earth-shattering kiss the two shared. She laughed as she walked away and joined Mark.

"Did you know she was coming?"

Meredith shook her head, "No. I don't think anyone did."

* * *

"Seriously?"

Grace nodded. "Yup. I'm official and start in two weeks."

Meredith smiled and lunged at her friend.

"Whoa tiger. I get it; you're excited."

Meredith stepped back, warily. "Grace, are you sure this is what you want?"

Grace nodded, appreciating her concern. "Yes."

Meredith looked at her friend. "You really love him."

"More than anything."

Meredith laughed.

"What?"

"I don't know," she chuckled. "It's like Derek and I broke up and found you and Mark, two people who are commitment phobes. It's pretty much priceless."

Grace grinned. "Are you happy Mer? Really happy?"

Meredith smiled, beaming. "Yes. More than I ever thought possible." She attempted to stop smiling, but it was no use. "So, where do you plan to live?"

Grace smirked, "Where do you think?"

* * *

"Well, I would say bring condoms, but since you're pretty much safe for the next couple of months…"

Christina playfully shoved Meredith. The two were sitting on the bed in the hotel room. Christina had just finished changing and was headed to the airport.

"Shut it."

The two hugged for a few moments, later abruptly pulling apart.

"Does this mean you won't be sleeping over any more?"

"Please," Christina smirked. "I'm pretty sure you'll see more of me than before."

"I'm happy for you Christina. I'm glad you finally did it."

Christina nodded, "Me too. You know, you're gonna be like, an aunt Mer."

Meredith chuckled. "I know. They'll be a little Blasian kid running around calling me aunt Mer. The look on people's faces will be priceless."

* * *

_**Three days later…**_

"So, this is where you and Derek met? How romantic!"

Mark grinned as he showed Meredith the school in New York where he and Derek met in third grade.

"You're just jealous."

She kissed him quickly on the lips. "No, just a little worried about the nature of the relationship." she quipped. "How did you guys meet again?"

He pointed to the swings. "See that spot over there?"

She nodded, "Yeah."

"He asked Cary Blanche out." They walked to the swings and both sat down on one.

She looked at him, puzzled. "And?"

"And then she clocked him; I mean, harder than I've seen any other chick, he looked at Meredith, "I mean girl, hit anybody else. Derek didn't cry or anything, but I figured that anybody who could get clocked by a girl and continue playing on the swings like nothing happened could be someone I could be friends with. Five minutes later he kissed Ava Smith and asked her to be his girlfriend, confirming my earlier assessment. She said yes."

Meredith was laughing now, her hand on her stomach. "Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"I don't think you're telling me the whole story."

'_She knows me entirely too well.'_ He chuckled. "Okay, so maybe I left a little chunk out."

She nodded. "I knew it! Now, spit it out."

"Cary saw Ava get with Derek, so she got jealous, and then she told Derek that she wanted to get with him."

"And then what happened?"

"Derek got confused, didn't think anyone should have two girlfriends, and then said he couldn't be with Cary because he was with Ava."

"You still haven't told me how you guys actually met."

"I was getting there," he played. "Long story short, his older sister was standing next to me. I kissed her and said she had to be my girlfriend. She slapped me. I fell down because I wasn't expecting it. Derek helped me up, told me not to worry about, and that I was better off anyway. Been friends ever since."

Meredith smiled, "So, this playground means a lot to you, huh?"

He nodded. "Yup."

She kissed him, for quite sometime. They broke away.

"What was that for?"

"For sharing it with me."

He smiled as he looked down at her. He knew that this was it. This was the love of his life. She never asked anything more of him than for him to be himself and for him to share life with her. He wanted to tell her that he wanted to share his _whole_ life with her. Meredith made him feel like he was bigger than himself, like she was the only thing he needed to be happy.

It was the little things that mattered, the tiny nuances that made him love her. It was the way she said 'I love you,' like he was the only 'you' that there could possibly be; it was the way she looked at him when he caught her and the way his name sounded when she said it. It was the way she always waited up for him, no matter how tired she was. She opened up to him and didn't shut him out. Most importantly, she loved and accepted him for who he was. She never tried to change him. He wanted to change for her. He did without realizing it. Meredith Grey was it for him.

"Meredith?"

"Mmhmm?"

"I love you."

She chuckled. "And I love you."

"No, I mean, I really, really, really love you."

She furrowed her eyebrows, smiling as she felt his forehead. "Are you okay?"

He shook his head. "Not really."

She dropped the sarcasm and got worried. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he grinned.

"Then, what-"

"Marry me."

"Uh? I mean…what…'cause it sounded like you asked me to—"

He nodded, "Marry me." He got down on one knee and fumbled for a few moments before producing a ring.

She gasped at the moment and the engagement ring. She went to touch it, but stopped herself. "Why would you want to marry me?"

Astonished by her question, he took her hand. "Why wouldn't I? You're the most beautiful, amazing, thoughtful, sexy, lovable, loyal, and compassionate person I know. You gave me the greatest gift; your heart. I just want the chance to pay you back for the rest of our lives. I love you; I always will. I don't think I really loved anyone before; at least not in the way I love with you. So, Meredith Grey, I really, really, really love you. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Meredith didn't move or bother to catch the few tears and others that threatened to fall. Once she recovered from the shock, she threw herself, literally, at Mark, causing them both to fall.

"Yes! I'll marry you," she kissed him all over. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

He chuckled. "If I knew you'd jump me I would've asked a long time ago."

She remained on top of him. "Down boy," she grinned as the last of her tears of happiness fell.

He slipped the ring on her finger. "There." He looked into her eyes. "Now you _can_ change your name, to a very strong, sexy, and rich name. Mrs. Sloan," he said dreamily. "Mrs. Meredith Sloan."

She giggled as she kissed him longingly and then stuck her hand out, admiring the ring. "It's…perfect."

He smiled, "Good to know you don't care about material things."

She swatted him. "Hey, this is one thing a woman can be material about. I think I'm worth it."

He chuckled. "Also good to know I'm not the only one with an ego. I think we'll be just fine."

The two stared at each other for quite some time.

"Uh, Mark?"

"Yes?"

"Maybe we should get out of the sand. People are staring."

The two laughed as they got up and brushed themselves off.

They walked hand in hand to the car.

"You know, Christina is going to kill me, again."

Mark put an arm around her. "Why?"

"Remember when she found out we were together."

He nodded.

"Think of how she'll act when she finds out I got engaged when she was on her honeymoon. Everyone will know before she will."

The two got in the car and headed to their hotel, neither of them really worried about Christina's wrath. They each had someone that wanted them; that needed them. They were in love; the kind of love that people rarely get to experience. They held hands as Meredith's ring flickered every now and again, a constant reminder of the life to come and who it would be shared with.

Mark and Meredith couldn't help but grin every time they looked at each other. They had a feeling that that grin would only dissipate on their wedding day.

In its place would sit a permanent smile.

* * *

**A/N**_: Oh my gosh! I'm so sad that that is it! I really, really, really loved all of your reviews and enjoyed writing a MerMark fanfic. You guys rock! Thanks for all of the reviews, support, and encouragement. Hope you enjoyed the fic as much as I enjoyed hearing from all of you! Muah! LaFilmeMichelle_

**KB22**, **Aries03**: Lol. I know…he's adorable! Hope you liked this one!

**TVHollywoodDiva**: Thanks!

**Mer's4life**: For you! It was popped. Lol.

**Katherine** **Austen**: Haha…glad you enjoyed the Mertina. And yup, he did it! I so would love to kiss him! But alas, I live vicariously through Mer! And I see you are wearing your other ribbon. Well earned.

**Onlyone**-**chance8720**: Hehee…you got your proposal. Maybe, if there's ever a sequel, I'll give you a wedding.  Oh my gosh! I had the silliest, biggest grin on my face when I read your review. My family was like, what? Lol. It touched me beyond words. That's all I have to say. Such a compliment and ego-booster! Love you too! I'll miss your reviews!

**Murgy31**: Hope you enjoyed the end!

**Surgery**-**Girl**: Thanks! Yup, he did it!

**Merderdreamy5**: Oh, I hope your dad is doing well! I wish you all the best in school. Thank you so much for reading and appreciating my story. And, here's to you and I finding our own Mc's! (You had me roll'n when you said, 'without the man whoreness.') Great!

**Rina** **007**: Thank you so much! Glad you found and liked the story!


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